you know, i hate when drama incurs around the christmas break. it always ruins my christmas.
so i went to a movie without katie, and invited some friends, and she took real offense to it. like, she thought that i did it to directly hurt her or because i was jealous the i didn't spend as much time with antoinette or whatever. i just wanted a quiet evening, she had been going, so i heard, through and on-again-off-again relationship with someone, i didn't know what she wanted to do. she told me i was a whore and to go to hell... which i find is taking it a little far. i mean, i realize now, after i called her, that it was a movie she had really wanted to see, a point which i hadn't really gotten, but i've apologized to her twice and she hasn't accepted any apologies. now, sorry to anyone else, but if i've tried my hardest and apologized to you, that's about all i can do. now i am the one with the hurt feelings and i hate this feeling of being in the 7th grade again.
it's a movie, i apologized, can't we be adults and forgive and forget?
in other news, i love hanging out with my family. zack is so funny and is so sweet to me, we watched james bond almost all day yesterday. jordan... will be jordan. mary and margaret are such spazzes but they're nice to me... in a sarcastic sister way. and my dad is SO FREAKIN HILLARIOUS. and my mom... puts up with a lot from me.
so, ludwig is really funny. no i'm serious! i'm inviting him to see king kong with me, since i want to see it again. but only after i've cleaned my room... errr...
speaking of...
i need to eat a cinnamon roll and clean my room.
December 20, 2005
December 08, 2005
November 27, 2005
as blunt as possible
well, i figure this is the time in movies where everything goes wrong. i have been rejected, there is no hope for me in the near future, so i figure i'll be completely honest now, because what's the worse that could happen? my life is already terrible right now.
i feel betrayed by a majority of my friends. the few that i am intimately close with. annie has been there for me recently, katie, and now william. at first i was upset because annie went to eat with antoinette and then to a movie and i wasn't invited and just felt completely left out and lonely. it's ok now, but it was terrible timing because i had really needed that.
on the other hand, antoinette has really been into going out and partying... a lot lately. and mostly i am not involved. it is mostly boys, as well. now it's not the fact that she's with boys, but i feel like she doesn't care about me as much and is putting these boys before me. i am upset.
caroline was gone, she can't help it. but i wish that she had picked up her phone tonight.
katie was there for me one hundred per cent this break. i have no complaints only praises. she came over when i was down, helped me up off my feet. comforted me, was there for me, and made me completely happy.
william called me tonight and said some of the sweetest things i've ever heard. i understand now. he is the first guy that has actually been a real true friend. thanks.
other than that, there isn't much else. annie, don't take this the wrong way, that was one incident, you were extremely helpful for me tonight and i know that you wouldn't do anything to hurt me.
so that's it. shoot me tomorrow, hurt me rip my hair out, whatever. i feel like i'm already in the gutter, why not be covered in dirt while i'm at it and get it all out of the way.
REJECTED!
i feel betrayed by a majority of my friends. the few that i am intimately close with. annie has been there for me recently, katie, and now william. at first i was upset because annie went to eat with antoinette and then to a movie and i wasn't invited and just felt completely left out and lonely. it's ok now, but it was terrible timing because i had really needed that.
on the other hand, antoinette has really been into going out and partying... a lot lately. and mostly i am not involved. it is mostly boys, as well. now it's not the fact that she's with boys, but i feel like she doesn't care about me as much and is putting these boys before me. i am upset.
caroline was gone, she can't help it. but i wish that she had picked up her phone tonight.
katie was there for me one hundred per cent this break. i have no complaints only praises. she came over when i was down, helped me up off my feet. comforted me, was there for me, and made me completely happy.
william called me tonight and said some of the sweetest things i've ever heard. i understand now. he is the first guy that has actually been a real true friend. thanks.
other than that, there isn't much else. annie, don't take this the wrong way, that was one incident, you were extremely helpful for me tonight and i know that you wouldn't do anything to hurt me.
so that's it. shoot me tomorrow, hurt me rip my hair out, whatever. i feel like i'm already in the gutter, why not be covered in dirt while i'm at it and get it all out of the way.
REJECTED!
November 24, 2005
text sex
i'm pretty sure i have an obsession with the past. like, i can't just delete it.
just take them for what they are. sex. i mean. texts.
"lol i love your school. its so perfect for you. and so you have sleeping asthma or the regular kind? and i need more brand new. plus your sad emo songs are weird." -colin
"i'm about to do nothing. yay for working out." -chachi
"omgz i cant believe my txt was one of your faves. yes i am a stalker and read your blog." -colleen.
"that's how i roll" -colleen
"how come? girls are mean." -colin, adding that "girls are mean" thing out of nowhere.
"lol sounds fun. kasees a controlling date." -colin. again, out of nowhere.
"you look like a giant blueberry!" -colleen
"hmm i don't get you. maybe it's better that way :)" -colin
"make a cardboard cutout of me and carry it around." -adam. about how i miss him.
"it's called sex panther. it's illegal in 9 countries and it's made from bits of real panther, so you know its good." -colleen.
"um yesterday i was walking to go to lunch and calling someone and this nazi teacher took it. my mom came today to get it. btw i need to lose 5 lbs by saturday."-colin
"how was she stressed? and what do you mean nevermind? and how was that? were you fashionable?" -colin
"oh i have my weather patterns. lots of rain and storms. like it's always winter but never christams." serge
"lol thanks i just listened to it. i do feel honored. what are you doing now?" -someone finally cares. oh. that was colin.
"so.... bored... and boy deprived..." -caroline. happy thanksgiving.
"happy thanksgiving ya'll. i don't know about you but i'm thankful for starbucks." -caroline.
"yup second time. but its ok because just friends is for bitter mormons" -peiser on going to see rent.
"you are completely bitter. a completely bitter mormon." -peiser
"how was your thanksgiving? family still nuts?" -colin
yay for text messaging. yay.
just take them for what they are. sex. i mean. texts.
"lol i love your school. its so perfect for you. and so you have sleeping asthma or the regular kind? and i need more brand new. plus your sad emo songs are weird." -colin
"i'm about to do nothing. yay for working out." -chachi
"omgz i cant believe my txt was one of your faves. yes i am a stalker and read your blog." -colleen.
"that's how i roll" -colleen
"how come? girls are mean." -colin, adding that "girls are mean" thing out of nowhere.
"lol sounds fun. kasees a controlling date." -colin. again, out of nowhere.
"you look like a giant blueberry!" -colleen
"hmm i don't get you. maybe it's better that way :)" -colin
"make a cardboard cutout of me and carry it around." -adam. about how i miss him.
"it's called sex panther. it's illegal in 9 countries and it's made from bits of real panther, so you know its good." -colleen.
"um yesterday i was walking to go to lunch and calling someone and this nazi teacher took it. my mom came today to get it. btw i need to lose 5 lbs by saturday."-colin
"how was she stressed? and what do you mean nevermind? and how was that? were you fashionable?" -colin
"oh i have my weather patterns. lots of rain and storms. like it's always winter but never christams." serge
"lol thanks i just listened to it. i do feel honored. what are you doing now?" -someone finally cares. oh. that was colin.
"so.... bored... and boy deprived..." -caroline. happy thanksgiving.
"happy thanksgiving ya'll. i don't know about you but i'm thankful for starbucks." -caroline.
"yup second time. but its ok because just friends is for bitter mormons" -peiser on going to see rent.
"you are completely bitter. a completely bitter mormon." -peiser
"how was your thanksgiving? family still nuts?" -colin
yay for text messaging. yay.
November 21, 2005
TO THE FLOOR.
anyway. ludacris = catchy.
anywayzzzzzz.
lots has been going on, and me in my lameness, once more, haven't been posting. so.
1. parents went out of town. jordan and zack were horrible. i don't know if any amount of money can make up for that hell. i am just praying that tomorrow my dad will go with me to the phone store so i can get my new phone. yay.
2. i will never stop loving those late night runs. katie, you know we have blasts doing those. don't deny it.
3. i'm starting to think more and more that i should just suck up the courage and tell him i like him.
4. friday colin came over to watch star wars episode III with me. filled with very awkward and frustraing interuptions from zack and jordan, awkward conversation, accusations, pity, and silence.
5. i'm not sure i enjoy the path all my friends are going down. the large group let's not care about anyone but myself and how much fun i'm having with this guy next to me fun. i don't think i like that kind of fun.
6. THANK HEAVENS FOR BREAKS.
7. i just can't wait until i get a car that i can drive wherever. i miss that so much. i got to drive my dads car this weekend (nice drive) and i was really careful with it. and i'm just hoping that i can get a car because boy to i miss driving. that freedom. sigh.
8. mmm... soft skin after showers.
9. lack of text sex = :[
10. a friend who bleeds is better.
PURE MORNING. PURE. MORNING. PURE. MORNING. PURE. MORNING.
SOMEONE TELL HIM I'M SITTING HERE WAITING FOR HIM, JUST HIM!!!!!
anywayzzzzzz.
lots has been going on, and me in my lameness, once more, haven't been posting. so.
1. parents went out of town. jordan and zack were horrible. i don't know if any amount of money can make up for that hell. i am just praying that tomorrow my dad will go with me to the phone store so i can get my new phone. yay.
2. i will never stop loving those late night runs. katie, you know we have blasts doing those. don't deny it.
3. i'm starting to think more and more that i should just suck up the courage and tell him i like him.
4. friday colin came over to watch star wars episode III with me. filled with very awkward and frustraing interuptions from zack and jordan, awkward conversation, accusations, pity, and silence.
5. i'm not sure i enjoy the path all my friends are going down. the large group let's not care about anyone but myself and how much fun i'm having with this guy next to me fun. i don't think i like that kind of fun.
6. THANK HEAVENS FOR BREAKS.
7. i just can't wait until i get a car that i can drive wherever. i miss that so much. i got to drive my dads car this weekend (nice drive) and i was really careful with it. and i'm just hoping that i can get a car because boy to i miss driving. that freedom. sigh.
8. mmm... soft skin after showers.
9. lack of text sex = :[
10. a friend who bleeds is better.
PURE MORNING. PURE. MORNING. PURE. MORNING. PURE. MORNING.
SOMEONE TELL HIM I'M SITTING HERE WAITING FOR HIM, JUST HIM!!!!!
November 18, 2005
The Wishing Well
ok, so i had to babysit for this family friend today (four hours, 60 bucks, not too bad). anyway, once the kids were in bed, i watched the notebook. i've seen it once before, and i knew how hot ryan gosling is, especially shirtless and/or kissing, however, this time. i just lost it. i can't explain it! i was alone, i felt alone, i knew i was pathetic-- it all collapsed at the same time! and the old couple holding hands... OH GOSH. !!!
so, santa, hey... get your hands on that for me for christmas this year, a'ight?
it doesn't help that i have the song, "i'll be seeing you," on my computer, the last words spoken between the couple before they died together.
great.
oh, harry potter was amazing, my dads car drives fantastically, i love hot chocolate, and i am sick of one sided friendships.
:
i am tired of creating elaborate surprises for people, even though they may appear small or unimportant. because there is never a return in this thought.. i'm not making sense. i am so exaughsted. the point is... i'm selfish and am always expecting more.
seeing harry potter again, this time with the kids.
should be pretty fun... little kids are always fun to go see movies with.
oh so tired.
so, santa, hey... get your hands on that for me for christmas this year, a'ight?
it doesn't help that i have the song, "i'll be seeing you," on my computer, the last words spoken between the couple before they died together.
great.
oh, harry potter was amazing, my dads car drives fantastically, i love hot chocolate, and i am sick of one sided friendships.
:
i am tired of creating elaborate surprises for people, even though they may appear small or unimportant. because there is never a return in this thought.. i'm not making sense. i am so exaughsted. the point is... i'm selfish and am always expecting more.
seeing harry potter again, this time with the kids.
should be pretty fun... little kids are always fun to go see movies with.
oh so tired.
November 15, 2005
It's been a while.
it has! wow! anyway. moving past the awkwardness....
thursday night equals the awesome night of harry potter!!! ness!!!
which equals i have a whole hella lot of homework to do tomorrow night.
my mom and dad and two older sisters are leaving for california on thursday. jordan got a new phone because she's got post stress and anxiety disorder or something like that. she now needs to feel connected to mom. or something.
also, i don't like feeling used.
also, my room is progressing! my workouts are hella intense.
AND ANTHONY HAS DENIED ME MY NECK PURRS. i actually now have no more reason to live. i hope he feels happy that my life has gone to shambles and i feel no happiness anymore.
etilcriepourmoi: shure.
etilcriepourmoi: and by shure.
etilcriepourmoi: i mean sure.
anchwanet: i don't know, i like shure
etilcriepourmoi: me too.
etilcriepourmoi: ok shure it is
anchwanet: but i don't like school
anchwanet: aka spanish and history
etilcriepourmoi: me either.
etilcriepourmoi: I KNOW
anchwanet: languages are whores
anchwanet: and people in the past were all whores
anchwanet: all of them
anchwanet: well...not all of them
etilcriepourmoi: true.
anchwanet: puritans though
etilcriepourmoi: oh i thought you had written panties
etilcriepourmoi: and i was disturbed and confused.
anyway, i'm freezing and tired and i feel sleepy and headachy and that i want to forget a lot of things and change a lot of stuff about me and i'm rambling and not even thinking coherently, so. there. i'm ending this entry. i really didn't have that many things to say.
or maybe i did and i forgot them all.
thursday night equals the awesome night of harry potter!!! ness!!!
which equals i have a whole hella lot of homework to do tomorrow night.
my mom and dad and two older sisters are leaving for california on thursday. jordan got a new phone because she's got post stress and anxiety disorder or something like that. she now needs to feel connected to mom. or something.
also, i don't like feeling used.
also, my room is progressing! my workouts are hella intense.
AND ANTHONY HAS DENIED ME MY NECK PURRS. i actually now have no more reason to live. i hope he feels happy that my life has gone to shambles and i feel no happiness anymore.
etilcriepourmoi: shure.
etilcriepourmoi: and by shure.
etilcriepourmoi: i mean sure.
anchwanet: i don't know, i like shure
etilcriepourmoi: me too.
etilcriepourmoi: ok shure it is
anchwanet: but i don't like school
anchwanet: aka spanish and history
etilcriepourmoi: me either.
etilcriepourmoi: I KNOW
anchwanet: languages are whores
anchwanet: and people in the past were all whores
anchwanet: all of them
anchwanet: well...not all of them
etilcriepourmoi: true.
anchwanet: puritans though
etilcriepourmoi: oh i thought you had written panties
etilcriepourmoi: and i was disturbed and confused.
anyway, i'm freezing and tired and i feel sleepy and headachy and that i want to forget a lot of things and change a lot of stuff about me and i'm rambling and not even thinking coherently, so. there. i'm ending this entry. i really didn't have that many things to say.
or maybe i did and i forgot them all.
November 03, 2005
Guys. Britney Totally has to deal with pain too.
First of all. Let me just say that i am absolutely completely madly in love with conner oberst.
Man and Wife, The Former (Financial Planning)
Well lately my days are much better
I can't concentrate while I'm at work
I just think and think until my head hurts
Of the payment plans I'm making
I just wanted to provide for you
But if you want to make a run for it
My love I'd cover you
And if you need money for bills
My lover I could cover you
'Cause I sold some shit I'm saving up
We can get that house next to the park
I'll get more hours at my dads shop
Yeah we'll plan for everything
And we'll enroll in that middle class
Get a compact car full of discount tags
If you're feeling trapped or too attached
Remember we wanted that
And if you need money for bills this month
My love I'd cover you
And if you have to lie to everyone
Well I'd cover up for you
'Cause we're growing older growing up
Just like our parents before us
With your new job at the coffee shop
We are ready for everything
And we'll graduate that middle class
Get a nicer car full of shopping bags
So if you're feeling sad kind of detached
Remember we wanted that
Just remember we wanted that
Yeah I sold some shit I'm saving up
We can get that house next to he park
With the extra hours I picked up
We will pay for everything
anyway. moving on. i am completely miserable, san diego.
let's start over. it's eight thirty four and i haven't started my homework and i don't wanna and i just want to crawl into my bed. and maybe die, but i don't know, that sounds kind of drastic.
i do know that the conversation i had with colin last night was REALLLYYY awkward. i mean like. he asked in the middle of the conversation if my friends think we're dating. how does someone respond to that? also, i think he said he had to go, but i didn't hear it, so i kept talking, and then he awkwardly said bye, and i felt like an idiot.
um, thanks to christi yip for helping me remember what i keep forgetting and then forgot to remind myself to do which is to continue wearing ties to school. i did it a lot last year, mostly in my incredibly depressed emo stage, and then i stopped cause i got lazy and undid all the knots.
but oh wait until tomorrow dear americans. just wait.
man am i tired. there is a lot of stuff i want to do this weekend, and i'm really wanting to do them. but i also really want to clean my room up completely. so there you are.
HARRY AND THE POTTERS THIS SATURDAY. come with. if i like you...
i worked out for a reaaaalllly long time today. and boy do my abs hurt like a mother.
hooray for mcdonalds week next week!!!! i'm totally excited. no you don't get it. totally excited.
gosh i would hate to be a teacher.
I FREAKING HATE EIGHTH GRADERS THEY ARE RETARDED.
Man and Wife, The Former (Financial Planning)
Well lately my days are much better
I can't concentrate while I'm at work
I just think and think until my head hurts
Of the payment plans I'm making
I just wanted to provide for you
But if you want to make a run for it
My love I'd cover you
And if you need money for bills
My lover I could cover you
'Cause I sold some shit I'm saving up
We can get that house next to the park
I'll get more hours at my dads shop
Yeah we'll plan for everything
And we'll enroll in that middle class
Get a compact car full of discount tags
If you're feeling trapped or too attached
Remember we wanted that
And if you need money for bills this month
My love I'd cover you
And if you have to lie to everyone
Well I'd cover up for you
'Cause we're growing older growing up
Just like our parents before us
With your new job at the coffee shop
We are ready for everything
And we'll graduate that middle class
Get a nicer car full of shopping bags
So if you're feeling sad kind of detached
Remember we wanted that
Just remember we wanted that
Yeah I sold some shit I'm saving up
We can get that house next to he park
With the extra hours I picked up
We will pay for everything
anyway. moving on. i am completely miserable, san diego.
let's start over. it's eight thirty four and i haven't started my homework and i don't wanna and i just want to crawl into my bed. and maybe die, but i don't know, that sounds kind of drastic.
i do know that the conversation i had with colin last night was REALLLYYY awkward. i mean like. he asked in the middle of the conversation if my friends think we're dating. how does someone respond to that? also, i think he said he had to go, but i didn't hear it, so i kept talking, and then he awkwardly said bye, and i felt like an idiot.
um, thanks to christi yip for helping me remember what i keep forgetting and then forgot to remind myself to do which is to continue wearing ties to school. i did it a lot last year, mostly in my incredibly depressed emo stage, and then i stopped cause i got lazy and undid all the knots.
but oh wait until tomorrow dear americans. just wait.
man am i tired. there is a lot of stuff i want to do this weekend, and i'm really wanting to do them. but i also really want to clean my room up completely. so there you are.
HARRY AND THE POTTERS THIS SATURDAY. come with. if i like you...
i worked out for a reaaaalllly long time today. and boy do my abs hurt like a mother.
hooray for mcdonalds week next week!!!! i'm totally excited. no you don't get it. totally excited.
gosh i would hate to be a teacher.
I FREAKING HATE EIGHTH GRADERS THEY ARE RETARDED.
November 02, 2005
LOOK AT ME GO
i know that i am such a terrible person for not having posted in so long. and yeah, you have missed a lot. once again, my phone inbox is completely full, so i'm dereting the messages and starting over. so here, once again. are the memorable ones i saved.
"Are you kidding, i love pink!!!!" -garrett
"miss you more than a G&D's sundae... and that's a lot girl!!!" -alexandra aka xander
"me as well. had a dream about oxford." -chloe aka chachi
"miss and luv you... i'll be back from africa on sept second. email me. " -katie
"it is nine forty five in the morning and i'm eating ravioli. wish i had capn crunch." later on, "let's trade." and then "meet you at the METROPLEX then." -chachi
"my dad says go pc" -anna. i love that her dad seriously contemplated my computer crisis.
"ME TOO it is dumb it is SO DUMB what are you doing right now? are you in church? what times is it in texas anywho?" -erica. mind you it was saturday.
"haha is it your parents that are making you do that? haha random AND I FORGOT TAHT TODAY WAS SATURDAY AND I THOUGHT IT WAS SUNDAY i have a question for you: did you get drunk the last night at oxford?" -erica. hey, i'm mormon.
"fog danger!" -adam
"sorry you had to eat alone. i am dead tired. i still love you! you were the perfect wedding date!" -mary
"we're going to el fenix. can you meet us there?" -mom. monumental b/c it was the first time i had gotten a text from her, and it was the day that her orders were dropped.
"OMG i'm taking film studies for school and it's like oxford all over again." -erica. OH MY GOSH I MISS MY ASHUN.
"i never knew lovely ladies cared so much. what are you guys up to?" -colin. i was with my friends. we cared that he didn't feel good or something like that.
"ineternet danger!" -adam. on "cry wolf"
"i love you too, hottt stuff." -mary
"mmm... injured boys..." -annie. i completely agree.
"can i take it back another night? do you need it tonight?" -colin, on the plate of mine that i left at his house. like, yeah, i have no other plates and only that one plate is necessary. TONIGHT.
"more like ***** and JULIA ACTION!!!" -annie. let's keep this name unknown, shall we?
"i only condone the phrase annie action. anything else doesn't flow." -colin. pff.
"it's great to think your family doesn't trust me. :( " -colin.
"i am completely miserable, san diego." -margaret. gosh i miss that kid.
"sorry i didn't talk to you long. cograts on your fencing. i've never won first place in my life. i'll try and call you this week, i'm just super busy" -margaret
"i'm in physics. it's not very entertaining. glad your a warrior." -colin
"cheer up emo girl. i'll always make you happy :) " -colin. umm... that made me so happy.
"i know, it's like the most adorable song ever written." -margaret, on "morning view" by silver scooter. i know, it is amazing.
"whew. done with my test. when you messaged me i was doing my problem bank for physics. it ws intense." -colin. YOU THINK? i'm pretty sure he had sent me a message in the middle of the test earlier, too.
"julia you take offense to everything. your texts always bring me out of my annoying school bubble. shouldn't you be in class?" -colin. maybe i'm paranoid.
"sounds fun. isn't that a messy business?" -colin, on ceramics. who says that? love it.
"i'm calling you this weekend. i have to get glasses." -chachi. i always knew you had it in ya.
"well now it's official: i am a true dork." -chachi. haha, YESSS
"i'll talk to you later this weekend-- sissy hour bedtime." -chachi. it's true, she always goes to bed at really lame hours.
"i waved bye but you never saw." -colin.
"hmmm you confuse me so much. why don't you just say what you need to say?" and then, "julia, what is your hunch exactly? stop speaking in riddles" and then, "julia you didn't fail me at all. she finally told me the truth. i just needed closure. she said she is not sure whether she loves him but won't let him go." -colin
"no YOU'RE hot." -annie
"JULES! thank you so much for the bowl, candies, and book! the bowl is so pretty i can't believe you made it!!" -rachel
"aww you're so lucky... i agree completely. why are girls so complicated?" -colin, on fires and hot chocolate, and then he just threw in that girl thing last minute.
"i'm sorry i'm a jerk to you." -colin. finally.
"ya ya whateva julia jones. you know how emo i am now. how was your day?" -colin as usual.
"but i didn't have a mountain, julia. i had a camera and a microphone." -margaret.
"i don't see how a pumpkin can be emo. whatev. your dad gives good essay advice. btw youd be proud of me. i'm writing decently." -colin fatty
"you are the most random person i have ever met. btw i need you next to me in seminary from now on." -colin. that message made me happy for a really long time. don't quite know why... anyway, i told him i didn't think it could work, and he says, "don't think we can sit next to each other? sure we can. don't make me go emo on you julia."
"i know. i'm the best." -colleen AHHH TOTAL CLONE.
"julia you are always bored. and how do you have so much time in school to always text? and i really like brand new." -colin.
anyway, fans, you have missed a lot. i went to the sleep clinic last night and got electrodes stuck ALL OVER MY BODY and today i was tested positive for hidden asthma, colin came over on halloween and we had our second annual lame "darkness falls" movie watching thing, i've started going to a trainer and am doing like seriously intense work out routines, i'm exaughsted all the time but i'm always wanting to party. i talk to colin a lot more lately, i have an inhaler, i still wish i had a boyfriend to cuddle with in the winter season. fencing season is over, i am enrolled in a hip-hop dance class for PE. i bit jordan and now everyone is freaking out. my car is dead and i need to drive so badly. my room is still a wreck. i am still fat. umm... i still heart jason? everyone is changing but i don't know why.
i like this weather though.
"Are you kidding, i love pink!!!!" -garrett
"miss you more than a G&D's sundae... and that's a lot girl!!!" -alexandra aka xander
"me as well. had a dream about oxford." -chloe aka chachi
"miss and luv you... i'll be back from africa on sept second. email me. " -katie
"it is nine forty five in the morning and i'm eating ravioli. wish i had capn crunch." later on, "let's trade." and then "meet you at the METROPLEX then." -chachi
"my dad says go pc" -anna. i love that her dad seriously contemplated my computer crisis.
"ME TOO it is dumb it is SO DUMB what are you doing right now? are you in church? what times is it in texas anywho?" -erica. mind you it was saturday.
"haha is it your parents that are making you do that? haha random AND I FORGOT TAHT TODAY WAS SATURDAY AND I THOUGHT IT WAS SUNDAY i have a question for you: did you get drunk the last night at oxford?" -erica. hey, i'm mormon.
"fog danger!" -adam
"sorry you had to eat alone. i am dead tired. i still love you! you were the perfect wedding date!" -mary
"we're going to el fenix. can you meet us there?" -mom. monumental b/c it was the first time i had gotten a text from her, and it was the day that her orders were dropped.
"OMG i'm taking film studies for school and it's like oxford all over again." -erica. OH MY GOSH I MISS MY ASHUN.
"i never knew lovely ladies cared so much. what are you guys up to?" -colin. i was with my friends. we cared that he didn't feel good or something like that.
"ineternet danger!" -adam. on "cry wolf"
"i love you too, hottt stuff." -mary
"mmm... injured boys..." -annie. i completely agree.
"can i take it back another night? do you need it tonight?" -colin, on the plate of mine that i left at his house. like, yeah, i have no other plates and only that one plate is necessary. TONIGHT.
"more like ***** and JULIA ACTION!!!" -annie. let's keep this name unknown, shall we?
"i only condone the phrase annie action. anything else doesn't flow." -colin. pff.
"it's great to think your family doesn't trust me. :( " -colin.
"i am completely miserable, san diego." -margaret. gosh i miss that kid.
"sorry i didn't talk to you long. cograts on your fencing. i've never won first place in my life. i'll try and call you this week, i'm just super busy" -margaret
"i'm in physics. it's not very entertaining. glad your a warrior." -colin
"cheer up emo girl. i'll always make you happy :) " -colin. umm... that made me so happy.
"i know, it's like the most adorable song ever written." -margaret, on "morning view" by silver scooter. i know, it is amazing.
"whew. done with my test. when you messaged me i was doing my problem bank for physics. it ws intense." -colin. YOU THINK? i'm pretty sure he had sent me a message in the middle of the test earlier, too.
"julia you take offense to everything. your texts always bring me out of my annoying school bubble. shouldn't you be in class?" -colin. maybe i'm paranoid.
"sounds fun. isn't that a messy business?" -colin, on ceramics. who says that? love it.
"i'm calling you this weekend. i have to get glasses." -chachi. i always knew you had it in ya.
"well now it's official: i am a true dork." -chachi. haha, YESSS
"i'll talk to you later this weekend-- sissy hour bedtime." -chachi. it's true, she always goes to bed at really lame hours.
"i waved bye but you never saw." -colin.
"hmmm you confuse me so much. why don't you just say what you need to say?" and then, "julia, what is your hunch exactly? stop speaking in riddles" and then, "julia you didn't fail me at all. she finally told me the truth. i just needed closure. she said she is not sure whether she loves him but won't let him go." -colin
"no YOU'RE hot." -annie
"JULES! thank you so much for the bowl, candies, and book! the bowl is so pretty i can't believe you made it!!" -rachel
"aww you're so lucky... i agree completely. why are girls so complicated?" -colin, on fires and hot chocolate, and then he just threw in that girl thing last minute.
"i'm sorry i'm a jerk to you." -colin. finally.
"ya ya whateva julia jones. you know how emo i am now. how was your day?" -colin as usual.
"but i didn't have a mountain, julia. i had a camera and a microphone." -margaret.
"i don't see how a pumpkin can be emo. whatev. your dad gives good essay advice. btw youd be proud of me. i'm writing decently." -colin fatty
"you are the most random person i have ever met. btw i need you next to me in seminary from now on." -colin. that message made me happy for a really long time. don't quite know why... anyway, i told him i didn't think it could work, and he says, "don't think we can sit next to each other? sure we can. don't make me go emo on you julia."
"i know. i'm the best." -colleen AHHH TOTAL CLONE.
"julia you are always bored. and how do you have so much time in school to always text? and i really like brand new." -colin.
anyway, fans, you have missed a lot. i went to the sleep clinic last night and got electrodes stuck ALL OVER MY BODY and today i was tested positive for hidden asthma, colin came over on halloween and we had our second annual lame "darkness falls" movie watching thing, i've started going to a trainer and am doing like seriously intense work out routines, i'm exaughsted all the time but i'm always wanting to party. i talk to colin a lot more lately, i have an inhaler, i still wish i had a boyfriend to cuddle with in the winter season. fencing season is over, i am enrolled in a hip-hop dance class for PE. i bit jordan and now everyone is freaking out. my car is dead and i need to drive so badly. my room is still a wreck. i am still fat. umm... i still heart jason? everyone is changing but i don't know why.
i like this weather though.
October 23, 2005
i can't feel my body.
ok, guys, i wasn't kidding about the being sad about the no comments thing. COME ON. LET'S GET THIS MOVING. I'M SAD.
moving on, yesterday was pretty awkward. did i already talk about this? i feel like i did. so i'm not going too talk about it AGAIN. man, that would be embarrassing.
sigur ros is too good.
umm... i don't want to do my homework like for serious y'all.
woah, distracted. anyway. so my window is open to hang this thing out of it, and now that the temperature is dropping (GLORIOUS) it is quite freezing outside. i'm telling you. anyway. i think i'm going to go on a walk now.
<3!
moving on, yesterday was pretty awkward. did i already talk about this? i feel like i did. so i'm not going too talk about it AGAIN. man, that would be embarrassing.
sigur ros is too good.
umm... i don't want to do my homework like for serious y'all.
woah, distracted. anyway. so my window is open to hang this thing out of it, and now that the temperature is dropping (GLORIOUS) it is quite freezing outside. i'm telling you. anyway. i think i'm going to go on a walk now.
<3!
October 22, 2005
Glenn's Got Slacks
anyway, seriously world, WHAT IS WITH YOU LATELY?
the boy i'm in love with is completely not liking me back, my car has broken down so now i can't drive anywhere and spend all day watching danny bonaduce and freaking... dirty dancing (the movie), my effing cousin is dying, i am completely burdened with homework, AND we have no money?
the conversation (THE conversation) was really really awkward. um. yeah.
gosh frickin dang it i'm going to bed. i just can't take it anymore!
also, i just texted a friends of my little sister. because this is what i found on the message box thing:
Elmoluvs13: this is a really kool ryme my friend told me 4 our graduating year thing party hard
rock n roll
we r the class u cant control
Guys r pimpin
girls r fine
were NOT the class of 2009!
when 2009 is graduated n gone
2010 will party on
2011 will think they got class
BUT 2012 WILL ALWAYS KICK .....
Elmoluvs13 is away at 3:50:43 PM.
Elmoluvs13 returned at 3:52:59 PM.
Elmoluvs13: talk 2 me
Elmoluvs13: oh
Elmoluvs13: w/e
Elmoluvs13: come back
by the way, you click on the link and an away message box pops up saying, "haha!! i'm gay!!"
i was like. wtf kind of retard kid is this. so i IMed her on my little sisters account:
lamehippiein80s: wtf kind of stuff is this
Auto response from Elmoluvs13: I have good news and bad news the bad news is I'm away the good news is I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by swiching to Geico. 15 minuets could save u 15% or more on car insurance.
lamehippiein80s: minutes. minutes.
lamehippiein80s: besides, the class of 2007 WILL ROCK HARDER THAN ANY OTHER CLASS IN TIME OH YEAH!!!!!
heh. i hope that kid wakes up, sees that, and cries.
the boy i'm in love with is completely not liking me back, my car has broken down so now i can't drive anywhere and spend all day watching danny bonaduce and freaking... dirty dancing (the movie), my effing cousin is dying, i am completely burdened with homework, AND we have no money?
the conversation (THE conversation) was really really awkward. um. yeah.
gosh frickin dang it i'm going to bed. i just can't take it anymore!
also, i just texted a friends of my little sister. because this is what i found on the message box thing:
Elmoluvs13: this is a really kool ryme my friend told me 4 our graduating year thing party hard
rock n roll
we r the class u cant control
Guys r pimpin
girls r fine
were NOT the class of 2009!
when 2009 is graduated n gone
2010 will party on
2011 will think they got class
BUT 2012 WILL ALWAYS KICK .....
Elmoluvs13 is away at 3:50:43 PM.
Elmoluvs13 returned at 3:52:59 PM.
Elmoluvs13: talk 2 me
Elmoluvs13: oh
Elmoluvs13: w/e
Elmoluvs13: come back
by the way, you click on the link and an away message box pops up saying, "haha!! i'm gay!!"
i was like. wtf kind of retard kid is this. so i IMed her on my little sisters account:
lamehippiein80s: wtf kind of stuff is this
Auto response from Elmoluvs13: I have good news and bad news the bad news is I'm away the good news is I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by swiching to Geico. 15 minuets could save u 15% or more on car insurance.
lamehippiein80s: minutes. minutes.
lamehippiein80s: besides, the class of 2007 WILL ROCK HARDER THAN ANY OTHER CLASS IN TIME OH YEAH!!!!!
heh. i hope that kid wakes up, sees that, and cries.
i am not ok with that.
alright, so umm... i think we are all in favor of declaring today a pretty much really really sucky day. like, i haven't cried that hard since... like... may of last year. so, pretty much in overview form, colin and i were supposed to hang out tonight, and i had asked him if we could do it (since his birthday is on sunday) like, a week in advance. wow, that was an awkward sentence.
anyway, so like, i don't know if he can come or not, and my friends are all at football games and band performances and i needed someone to comfort me and surprise surprise, there was no one. NO ONE. oh, by the by, i got a text from him later. at about nine thirty. saying he couldn't go. wow, that's fantastic, only a few hours later than i needed. i got dressed up. i looked frickin delicious.
if i may say so myself. anyway, i hated not knowing, and i just. it's happened too many times. so tomorrow, i have to call him and talk to him about how i feel about this and what my problem with him is, and since he appreciates honesty he better freaking appreciate this cause this is just not the kind of thing i do. really. but, i was at the point of serious... serious depression. i was. SO. sad. like, i kind even find words to describe it. and i can't really explain what it was exactly that made me so sad, because i was bawling before i even found out that he officially couldn't go. i guess it's just the feeling of being stood up or whatever. gosh i hate boys. no wonder everyone tells me to avoid them.
and in all seriousness, i needed someone to talk to so badly. and there was no one.
world, you have failed me.
anyway, so like, i don't know if he can come or not, and my friends are all at football games and band performances and i needed someone to comfort me and surprise surprise, there was no one. NO ONE. oh, by the by, i got a text from him later. at about nine thirty. saying he couldn't go. wow, that's fantastic, only a few hours later than i needed. i got dressed up. i looked frickin delicious.
if i may say so myself. anyway, i hated not knowing, and i just. it's happened too many times. so tomorrow, i have to call him and talk to him about how i feel about this and what my problem with him is, and since he appreciates honesty he better freaking appreciate this cause this is just not the kind of thing i do. really. but, i was at the point of serious... serious depression. i was. SO. sad. like, i kind even find words to describe it. and i can't really explain what it was exactly that made me so sad, because i was bawling before i even found out that he officially couldn't go. i guess it's just the feeling of being stood up or whatever. gosh i hate boys. no wonder everyone tells me to avoid them.
and in all seriousness, i needed someone to talk to so badly. and there was no one.
world, you have failed me.
October 20, 2005
I'm ok with the fact that i'm the only one reading this.
i went to the polmynologist today. that didn't do anything. she was an hour behind her work schedule, so i was like, dude, i'm gonna miss class and stuff, so i rescheduled. and then i went to il graino and ate lunch with colin. still upset i missed his wave... :[ his birthday is on monday and i don't know what to get him. should i even get him anything? meh. i worked a little bit on my room. it looks a little cleaner. hopefully i will get more done tongight. i don't know man, it's just one of those nights where i just want to lie down and not exist. i'm so behind in the jokes of my friends and i feel like an old old man because i just don't want to party at their high talking pace. and mostly, i'm talking about antoinette and katie, because they are always on the run and always doing stuff, i feel like i'm missing out on almost everything. ah well. i guess i'm getting old. boy am i falling apart. i have no money, i don't feel like doing anything, i just want to talk to my boys and scream along with screamo. yeah i'm a dork, but at least i'm not you.
i gave away my most favoritist bowl today. it was really hard man, that bowl was one of my best. but it's going to a girl in my church who's getting surgery and... oh well. maybe i'll make a better one.
i want to go on adventures with you.
gosh. winter sure does have a strange affect on me. it's like, screamo sweater season where all of my art energy comes out, the windows are always down, the bangs are longer. more bracelets. more laziness. more solitude. still incessently bothering one boy, and it will probably end in tears. it always does.
on a brighter note, i am now cutting out food a lot. like. yeah. we didn't work out in fencing today though, which sucks because like. i needed to work out. cause i'm fat. so like, i'm considering going to the work out room at school and working out there. or something. i'll figure this out.
i'm hording three baskets in my room. sorry mary.
mmm hmm.
i didn't see enough annie today and that made me sad.
j-rexxx. is now in hibernation mode.
goodbye till next spring.
welcome, jules.
yeah that's right, everyone will be calling me jules now.
or julia if your old.
i gave away my most favoritist bowl today. it was really hard man, that bowl was one of my best. but it's going to a girl in my church who's getting surgery and... oh well. maybe i'll make a better one.
i want to go on adventures with you.
gosh. winter sure does have a strange affect on me. it's like, screamo sweater season where all of my art energy comes out, the windows are always down, the bangs are longer. more bracelets. more laziness. more solitude. still incessently bothering one boy, and it will probably end in tears. it always does.
on a brighter note, i am now cutting out food a lot. like. yeah. we didn't work out in fencing today though, which sucks because like. i needed to work out. cause i'm fat. so like, i'm considering going to the work out room at school and working out there. or something. i'll figure this out.
i'm hording three baskets in my room. sorry mary.
mmm hmm.
i didn't see enough annie today and that made me sad.
j-rexxx. is now in hibernation mode.
goodbye till next spring.
welcome, jules.
yeah that's right, everyone will be calling me jules now.
or julia if your old.
October 18, 2005
um hello awesome bright eyes
this song is simply amazing.
Does he kiss your eyelids in the morning when you start to raise your head?
And does he sing to you incessantly from the place between your bed and wall?
Does he walk around all day at school with his feet inside your shoes?
Looking down every few steps to pretend he walks with you.
Does he know that place below your neck that is your favorite to be touched
and does he cry through broken sentences like I love you far too much?
Does he lay awake listening to your breath? Worried that you smoke too many cigarettes.
Is he coughing now on a bathroom floor?
For every speck of tile there are a thousand more that you won't ever see but most hold inside yourself eternally.
I drug your ghost across the country and we plotted out my death.
In every city, memories would whisper, Here is where you rest.
I was determined in Chicago but I dug my teeth into my knees and I settled for a telephone and sang into your machine.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
I kissed a girl with a broken jaw that her father gave to her.
She had eyes bright enough to burn me.
They reminded me of yours.
In a story told she was a little girl in a red-rouge, sun-bruised field and there were rows of ripe tomatoes where a secret was concealed.
And it rose like thunder, clapped under our hands.
And it stretched for centuries to a diary entry's end where I wrote, You make me happy when the skies are gray You make me happy the skies are gray and gray and gray.
Well the clock's heart it hangs inside its open chest with its hands stretched towards the calendar hanging itself
but I will not weep for those dying days.
For all the ones who have left there are a few that stayed.
And they found me here and pulled me from the grass where I was laid.
Does he kiss your eyelids in the morning when you start to raise your head?
And does he sing to you incessantly from the place between your bed and wall?
Does he walk around all day at school with his feet inside your shoes?
Looking down every few steps to pretend he walks with you.
Does he know that place below your neck that is your favorite to be touched
and does he cry through broken sentences like I love you far too much?
Does he lay awake listening to your breath? Worried that you smoke too many cigarettes.
Is he coughing now on a bathroom floor?
For every speck of tile there are a thousand more that you won't ever see but most hold inside yourself eternally.
I drug your ghost across the country and we plotted out my death.
In every city, memories would whisper, Here is where you rest.
I was determined in Chicago but I dug my teeth into my knees and I settled for a telephone and sang into your machine.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
I kissed a girl with a broken jaw that her father gave to her.
She had eyes bright enough to burn me.
They reminded me of yours.
In a story told she was a little girl in a red-rouge, sun-bruised field and there were rows of ripe tomatoes where a secret was concealed.
And it rose like thunder, clapped under our hands.
And it stretched for centuries to a diary entry's end where I wrote, You make me happy when the skies are gray You make me happy the skies are gray and gray and gray.
Well the clock's heart it hangs inside its open chest with its hands stretched towards the calendar hanging itself
but I will not weep for those dying days.
For all the ones who have left there are a few that stayed.
And they found me here and pulled me from the grass where I was laid.
OH MY GOSH
i'm so sick of the freaking ultra uber happiness
and i'm so tired of mary's mood swings and how she now is being a complete and utter jerk and i hate how there is a wasp on my wall that NO ONE WILL KILL and i hate the fact that colin has given up on me completely and i hate the fact that i need sixty more dollars and. and. and.
cry.
and i'm so tired of mary's mood swings and how she now is being a complete and utter jerk and i hate how there is a wasp on my wall that NO ONE WILL KILL and i hate the fact that colin has given up on me completely and i hate the fact that i need sixty more dollars and. and. and.
cry.
October 17, 2005
well in response to...
for some reason i feel like posting a really long blog. this might be branching off of a post katie has created, and i think she was referring to me somewhere in the mix, but i can't be sure. either way, i need to clear some things up, for myself mostly. writing it out helps though. anyway, so lately i haven't been very social with school friends. especially after my church trip. why is this? well there is a whole lot of reasons why this is. i guess we could start off with the fact that while in new york i became much better friends with all the people from church, especially colin. and now that i'm home and settled down into school and all that, i just don't feel like doing anything. i think one of the major reasons this has happened is because football games are dead boring and now with the new spirit party restrictions, i just don't feel like going to the dances afterwards. i've lost all heart. plus, because i've missed so much hanging out while away and during recent weekends, i am feeling more and more alienated from my friends. it's not that big of a deal, but i mean. it's starting to build up more. i can't drive down to dallas all the time, and my friends don't pick me up very often, so when they want to do all this activities in way-over-there-dallas, i normally can't do them. my car is extremely unreliable, therefore my mom doesn't want me out late at night, which does cripple me though. my favourite thing to do is cruise late at night with friends and now that this has been abolished, i am very sad. also, now that antoinette and katie have licenses, it's like, they can meet whenever they feel like, which they do a lot. and i don't mind when friends hang out without me, in fact that's rather healthy, but it's building up to the point where i don't know a lot of the jokes/ people they refer to now and i just feel completely out of the loop. can i completely blame my parents for this? or my car? not exactly. i am a lazy kid and i can understand that because i don't clean my room or ever accept responsabilities why my parents are hesitant to let me party a lot. i wish i could do more stuff, but i can't and i understand for the most part. i wish i were more motivated and that i didn't have so much lathargy. other observations include the fact that i enjoy hanging out with colin now, to the point where like. he's one of my own friends now so like, i'm willing to hang out with him all the time (even though he doesn't quite seem THAT eager to hang out with me, but oh well.) also,now that i'm just so out of the loop with my friends, i just don't want to do any social activity, for some reason. i can't explain this.
and i don't think that when you grow up with a family that makes you feel comfortable about yourself that you can't be the popular kid in school or whatever. i mean, it doesn't make sense that you should change for people, to be popular. it's like, why should i change just to get someone to like me? and i don't like it when people change according to how people will accept them. that's a people pleaser that is, and that gets you no where. i wouldn't trade my personality for a fake more popular one ever. popularity is highly HIGHLY overrated. seriously guys, get off your high horse.
dance restrictions... what's up with that?
it's fall time which means once again that feeling of just wanting to curl up in a ball and hide forever in my room is coming back to me. i feel like, if the guy i like would just like me back... and we could start dating... i feel like i would be such a happier person. like, fall and winter wouldn't be so sad and lonely for me, but like, cuddly. and so, i am lonely.
plus, all the comments i get now are electronic responses from large corporations. which makes me that much more sad.
:[
and i don't think that when you grow up with a family that makes you feel comfortable about yourself that you can't be the popular kid in school or whatever. i mean, it doesn't make sense that you should change for people, to be popular. it's like, why should i change just to get someone to like me? and i don't like it when people change according to how people will accept them. that's a people pleaser that is, and that gets you no where. i wouldn't trade my personality for a fake more popular one ever. popularity is highly HIGHLY overrated. seriously guys, get off your high horse.
dance restrictions... what's up with that?
it's fall time which means once again that feeling of just wanting to curl up in a ball and hide forever in my room is coming back to me. i feel like, if the guy i like would just like me back... and we could start dating... i feel like i would be such a happier person. like, fall and winter wouldn't be so sad and lonely for me, but like, cuddly. and so, i am lonely.
plus, all the comments i get now are electronic responses from large corporations. which makes me that much more sad.
:[
October 15, 2005
BARNALKNBKN
ok, all of my friends are at antoinette's house waiting for me and colin to arrive. it was like this for winter formal as well. i can't take much more tardiness. he's a good kid and fun to hang out with, but i wish he would realize that time isn't just something that doesn't matter-- peoples lives depend on it, and it is incredibly rude to just keep a large group of people waiting. if you can't make it when you say you can, audience, trust me when i say that it is much better to give them the HONEST TIME you will BE THERE!! almost thirty minutes late, i can't stand it much longer. AND HE IS JUST LEAVING AKA WILL BE HERE IN TEN TO FIFTEEN MINUTES AKA someone shoot me.
i hate being a burden sometimes.
i hate being a burden sometimes.
October 12, 2005
Burn List
Ok, things that i hate right now include but are not limited to:
1. psat's
2. stress
3. tardiness
4. family-going-to-fair-without-me
5. friends-going-out-without-me
6. mormon teenagers (for many many reasons)
7. fencing tournament the weekend of halloween, becuase now i can't go to the awesome halloween party that is happening.
8. feeling like a woman with lots of cats
9. people with boyfriends.
sob.
1. psat's
2. stress
3. tardiness
4. family-going-to-fair-without-me
5. friends-going-out-without-me
6. mormon teenagers (for many many reasons)
7. fencing tournament the weekend of halloween, becuase now i can't go to the awesome halloween party that is happening.
8. feeling like a woman with lots of cats
9. people with boyfriends.
sob.
October 10, 2005
Stabilo Boss
OK, so i'm pretty much exhausted since i woke up at 530 this morning to work on my french homework and it is now 632 AM and i'm finished, or so i hope... anyway, the reason i didn't really get any of my homework finished last night is because at 8 o'clock i went over to colin's house to talk with him (and i kind of forgot to tell my parents/ get permission so they could severly ticked off when i got home). at least, i just wanted to give him this letter and give his family some brownies. but when i got there he ushered me outside and we talked about him and his problems for a good hour and a half. i didn't really care how long i was out there because he was so SO heartbroken and SO upset. i wish there was someway i could show him what i know but there isn't. i also wish he realized that we are so similar in our wants, it's not even funny. i was actually kind of freaked out-- how highly he places trust, like, the cuddly part, etc. etc. i am not really going to go into detail, but all i can say is i have pretty much found my equal. and he doesn't even like me in that way. tear. lemme just say, the cuddle season is beginning and i have never felt so hallow and alone in my entire life. ultra tear. i feel rediculous now, so i'm stopping.
October 06, 2005
I've got a bad feeling about this...
i am back from canada slash new york!!! yeah! it was amazing, and i would post hot photos of me with boys but mary would make fun of me so instead i'm posting none pictures! go to deviantart or summat if you want to check out hot photos.
the boat tour of canadas level 5 rapids WAS AMAZING and i wish everyday i WERE THERE AGAIN. i mean, just yesterday i was talking and hugging boys and scratching their backs and like, being loved, and today i am freaking out about how much homework i have to make up and start and how many tests to take.
the trees were just beginning to change, the weather was beautiful, the boys ran around shirtless (aka i got more lonely) i learned a lot more about everyone, and i had an absolutely amazing time. FORWARD PASS.
awkard turtle.
omgz. freaking take me back.
also colin + me + winter formal?
amazing. if antoinette took ross? hillarious.
the boat tour of canadas level 5 rapids WAS AMAZING and i wish everyday i WERE THERE AGAIN. i mean, just yesterday i was talking and hugging boys and scratching their backs and like, being loved, and today i am freaking out about how much homework i have to make up and start and how many tests to take.
the trees were just beginning to change, the weather was beautiful, the boys ran around shirtless (aka i got more lonely) i learned a lot more about everyone, and i had an absolutely amazing time. FORWARD PASS.
awkard turtle.
omgz. freaking take me back.
also colin + me + winter formal?
amazing. if antoinette took ross? hillarious.
September 30, 2005
September 22, 2005
Ashun!
"just take care of yourself. will you do that for me? please? please be careful. just take care of yourself." -erica moon --> love of my LIFE
i love the care and kind words people send you when something mildly hazardous could maybe possibly hit you.
the traffic in dallas has gotten REDICULOUS. there were too many people here to begin with. now like, half of louisiana is here... and like. all of houston. it is FRICKIN REDICULOUS!!
i'm so sick of seeing my legs in mirrors i could vomit. i'm bringing my running shoes with me while i'm in palmyra and i am going running. i don't care what crespo says, it will happen.
i am so sick of rejection i could just die. die die die. i mean. goshfreakingdangit if only i were skinnier and prettier maybe he would like me...
you know what i want? one of the coaches from like, the biggest loser, or something like that. because that way, they would push me. they would push me hard and get me to stop eating so much and life would just be better. SOMEONE SEND ME TO A FAT CAMP OMFGZ PLEASE.
i love the care and kind words people send you when something mildly hazardous could maybe possibly hit you.
the traffic in dallas has gotten REDICULOUS. there were too many people here to begin with. now like, half of louisiana is here... and like. all of houston. it is FRICKIN REDICULOUS!!
with a 20% chance of smokin...
i'm so sick of seeing my legs in mirrors i could vomit. i'm bringing my running shoes with me while i'm in palmyra and i am going running. i don't care what crespo says, it will happen.
i am so sick of rejection i could just die. die die die. i mean. goshfreakingdangit if only i were skinnier and prettier maybe he would like me...
you know what i want? one of the coaches from like, the biggest loser, or something like that. because that way, they would push me. they would push me hard and get me to stop eating so much and life would just be better. SOMEONE SEND ME TO A FAT CAMP OMFGZ PLEASE.
September 19, 2005
Revert Back, back, back!!
ok so back to the first day of school... almost a month ago. TALK ABOUT GLAMOUR!!!
AND ALSO HILARIOUSNESS. we were a riot.
by the by, i found my camera. more pictures and more recent pictures to come.
huzzzaahhh.
LET'S MAKE THIS BLOG FAMOUS.
September 18, 2005
DON'T EVEN TRY IT
alright so...
I'm always curious to see which people decide to create their own blogs. It takes an unusual amount of self-absorption, loneliness and social retardation to assume that anyone would give two shits about your personal thoughts and reflections. For these reasons, I was not surprised to learn that Mary Jones has her own blog. In school, she would gallumph down the halls with the kind of physical awkardness and pre-teen 'look at me- i'm an individual' gusto that makes one cringe and desperately want to suggest that she take a nice long bath. Now when her name is mentioned, the usual characterizations are poured over until a flicker of recognition appears: "You know, the one that looks kind of like Weird Al Yankovic with shorter hair" or "that girl with the big teeth and the tortured soul routine". Oh yeah, her. That girl that pretends to be open-minded but isn't. That girl who thinks she has talent but doesn't. That Mary Jones. What a pathetic bitch.
this comment was left on my sisters mormon meat market live journal. IIII left a maybe really cruel comment back but seriously... you don't go accusing people in high school about how lame they are. this person remained ANONYMOUS by the way. i mean, everyone in highschool is mellodramatic and everyone is labeled as something and you know whoever posted that has issues. like, really. they can only point out faults that are accusatory and have flimsy support and making fun of someones looks is a major no no, i mean, in high school, lets admit, we were all dumb. i could name bad things about how everyone looks in high school RIGHT NOW, especially myself.
i really really really hope this girl gets hurt someway because man is she a JERK.
I'm always curious to see which people decide to create their own blogs. It takes an unusual amount of self-absorption, loneliness and social retardation to assume that anyone would give two shits about your personal thoughts and reflections. For these reasons, I was not surprised to learn that Mary Jones has her own blog. In school, she would gallumph down the halls with the kind of physical awkardness and pre-teen 'look at me- i'm an individual' gusto that makes one cringe and desperately want to suggest that she take a nice long bath. Now when her name is mentioned, the usual characterizations are poured over until a flicker of recognition appears: "You know, the one that looks kind of like Weird Al Yankovic with shorter hair" or "that girl with the big teeth and the tortured soul routine". Oh yeah, her. That girl that pretends to be open-minded but isn't. That girl who thinks she has talent but doesn't. That Mary Jones. What a pathetic bitch.
this comment was left on my sisters mormon meat market live journal. IIII left a maybe really cruel comment back but seriously... you don't go accusing people in high school about how lame they are. this person remained ANONYMOUS by the way. i mean, everyone in highschool is mellodramatic and everyone is labeled as something and you know whoever posted that has issues. like, really. they can only point out faults that are accusatory and have flimsy support and making fun of someones looks is a major no no, i mean, in high school, lets admit, we were all dumb. i could name bad things about how everyone looks in high school RIGHT NOW, especially myself.
i really really really hope this girl gets hurt someway because man is she a JERK.
September 13, 2005
Lord Voldemort-- i mean... you know who...
ok so i'm listening to harry and the potters (my long love. man, i loved them to death in my HPFF obsession phase a year or two ago, and then i forgot and then i remembered about them again. with a bit of help from antoinette. w00t.) draco malfoy, what's your problem?
anyway, i'm mostly updating for the few people that read this blog and also i don't want to do my homework. and i mean. i really don't want to do this homework.
hey, mary's "friends," way to forget her birthday. minus like, all the cool points in existence for doing this. I AM DISAPPOINTED!! DISSAPOINTED!!! WHATEVER!!
i... can't find my camera. i'm assuming it's somewhere in my room, i just have no idea where in my room. also, i'm missing my favoritest earrings ever, the ones i got from england. i'm also missing my ring and necklace and a lot of other stuff too. i am not happy about all this missing stuff.
margaret and chad = ???
we'll see what happens.
we've got to save ginny weasley from the basilisk.
so... i divorced my other computer... gianni... and remarried my new computer, Marlon Brando. he works much better and is much more efficient. and actually does what i want him to. yaaayy!
french quiz tomorrow and some other stuff for english class. obviously my heart isn't really in the assignments or the classes. also, i've got biology last period and that shark is SERIOUSLY starting to smell. i'm going to try and figure out a way to open up a link for donations to julia in order to buy a new lomography camera. i just have no idea how i'd do it.
sigh. actually. i'm going to do the paypal thing right. now. jkzzzz. i'm going to get one in april. then... people can donate money for me so that i can actually have a wicked bad camera. and stuff. anyway.
there's that.
anyway, i'm mostly updating for the few people that read this blog and also i don't want to do my homework. and i mean. i really don't want to do this homework.
hey, mary's "friends," way to forget her birthday. minus like, all the cool points in existence for doing this. I AM DISAPPOINTED!! DISSAPOINTED!!! WHATEVER!!
i... can't find my camera. i'm assuming it's somewhere in my room, i just have no idea where in my room. also, i'm missing my favoritest earrings ever, the ones i got from england. i'm also missing my ring and necklace and a lot of other stuff too. i am not happy about all this missing stuff.
margaret and chad = ???
we'll see what happens.
we've got to save ginny weasley from the basilisk.
so... i divorced my other computer... gianni... and remarried my new computer, Marlon Brando. he works much better and is much more efficient. and actually does what i want him to. yaaayy!
french quiz tomorrow and some other stuff for english class. obviously my heart isn't really in the assignments or the classes. also, i've got biology last period and that shark is SERIOUSLY starting to smell. i'm going to try and figure out a way to open up a link for donations to julia in order to buy a new lomography camera. i just have no idea how i'd do it.
sigh. actually. i'm going to do the paypal thing right. now. jkzzzz. i'm going to get one in april. then... people can donate money for me so that i can actually have a wicked bad camera. and stuff. anyway.
there's that.
September 12, 2005
FIRE IN MY EYYYYYES
ZAYED KAHN. AND I. ARE GOING TO HAVE BEAUTIFUL BABIES TOGETHER.
OH MY GOSH. WANT MORE BOLLYWOOD PICTURES? ASK ALLIE. I MIGHT HAVE TO POST MORE I AM IN LOOOOVE.
OH MY GOSH. WANT MORE BOLLYWOOD PICTURES? ASK ALLIE. I MIGHT HAVE TO POST MORE I AM IN LOOOOVE.
September 08, 2005
WHAT WAS I THINKING???
i wrote this last night, because it was an assignment for english. i liked it last night, but i just read it, and it's JUNK. what on earth was i thinking? OMFGZ i'm going to get the worst grade ever, it doesn't even make sense when applied to the assingment! i am dumb, i am so dumb.
The old musty shirt stuck to her rib cage, the beads of sweat accumulated from two hours of strenuous physical activity serving as the uncomfortable adhesive between her aching body and the once soft cotton. The glaring sun poured through the filthy car window as a hand tapped in anxious impatience against the steering wheel. Forty minutes and traffic was over, the ivy covered house stretched across the insect and mud stained front window of the slightly oil diabetic mini-van. By the smell of the house she could tell that it would be another one of those babysitting days—the heat from the hairdryers, the clacking of the heels, a whisper for an earring, the aroma of cote d’azure perfume floating across the mirrored bathroom. They left and now it was just the children and her. Two beastly whiny things with gaps in their front teeth but more love and bravery pulsing through their veins than the ally fighters of World War II. Outside to play. It seemed that someone was crying, though all she heard were the wind-tossed trees . The rough cement scratched her bare legs as she watched the children run in circles, ants climbing up broken barked twigs. Sunlight filtered through the sinew branches of the old oak tree hugging her in the slowly dimming light of a late springs evening. Lazy dragonflies filtered in and out of the patio, their wings dangled like golden thread . The smell of newly cut grass and the humidity only premature summer could deliver allows the dreaming unexplored parts of her mind to suddenly be exposed.
AAAHHHHH
The old musty shirt stuck to her rib cage, the beads of sweat accumulated from two hours of strenuous physical activity serving as the uncomfortable adhesive between her aching body and the once soft cotton. The glaring sun poured through the filthy car window as a hand tapped in anxious impatience against the steering wheel. Forty minutes and traffic was over, the ivy covered house stretched across the insect and mud stained front window of the slightly oil diabetic mini-van. By the smell of the house she could tell that it would be another one of those babysitting days—the heat from the hairdryers, the clacking of the heels, a whisper for an earring, the aroma of cote d’azure perfume floating across the mirrored bathroom. They left and now it was just the children and her. Two beastly whiny things with gaps in their front teeth but more love and bravery pulsing through their veins than the ally fighters of World War II. Outside to play. It seemed that someone was crying, though all she heard were the wind-tossed trees . The rough cement scratched her bare legs as she watched the children run in circles, ants climbing up broken barked twigs. Sunlight filtered through the sinew branches of the old oak tree hugging her in the slowly dimming light of a late springs evening. Lazy dragonflies filtered in and out of the patio, their wings dangled like golden thread . The smell of newly cut grass and the humidity only premature summer could deliver allows the dreaming unexplored parts of her mind to suddenly be exposed.
AAAHHHHH
Avoidance
In order to avoid doing my optional math homework, i am going to rant about the current events of my life and household. plus, i like the clickity sound the keys on my laptop make.
first of all, my mom's court case was cleared. yeah!! no more angry fits or incredible stress on my mom! her life should now be much much better. second order of business, mary is at bonnie's house right now, watching the first patriots game or whatever. anyway, the point is, tomorrow will be the first spirit night aka the first dance of the year. i don't want to sound like my angry bratty early teenage 2002 self, however, i would really really like to go to this dance. i love dancing, i love the night, i love being with my friends. and because my car is so die-worthy, i'd need a ride there and back. but it would be too late for my friends to drive me back home, so i'd have to sleepover. not a problem for me, a problem for mary. i am positive that she will not be for this at all because apparently there is a lot of stuff that must be done saturday morning and i can just feel the fact that she will say no. but i really really really wanted to sleepover because i wanted to see the exorcism of emily rose with antoinette saturday morning and then go home to hang out with the family for the rest of the weekend. however, things never go as i would like them to, because that's jus the way things are. therefore all i can do is hope that everything will work out.
in other news, i electric fenced this boy today and he cut me SO HARD that i have lines on my arms from where he hit me. ouch.
first of all, my mom's court case was cleared. yeah!! no more angry fits or incredible stress on my mom! her life should now be much much better. second order of business, mary is at bonnie's house right now, watching the first patriots game or whatever. anyway, the point is, tomorrow will be the first spirit night aka the first dance of the year. i don't want to sound like my angry bratty early teenage 2002 self, however, i would really really like to go to this dance. i love dancing, i love the night, i love being with my friends. and because my car is so die-worthy, i'd need a ride there and back. but it would be too late for my friends to drive me back home, so i'd have to sleepover. not a problem for me, a problem for mary. i am positive that she will not be for this at all because apparently there is a lot of stuff that must be done saturday morning and i can just feel the fact that she will say no. but i really really really wanted to sleepover because i wanted to see the exorcism of emily rose with antoinette saturday morning and then go home to hang out with the family for the rest of the weekend. however, things never go as i would like them to, because that's jus the way things are. therefore all i can do is hope that everything will work out.
in other news, i electric fenced this boy today and he cut me SO HARD that i have lines on my arms from where he hit me. ouch.
September 07, 2005
blaheang
sanity still intact but only just. it's junior year i believe that speaks for itself. antoinette has strepp throat. i only pray my parents will let me go to spirit night this friday... dancing occurs afterwords. not so sure about how they'll feel about it. we'll see. not pushing anything. tired. need more sleep. fencing exaughsting. gross. sweat. want to be not in school. worrying so much about people in my family or friends of mine dying that i think i need some sort of medication cause i am getting myself seriously depressed about all this
stuff.
julia.
stuff.
julia.
September 01, 2005
Answer is No
so school has started. wass was pretty much correct that this is the year that we go to war. we pack our bags, kiss our family good-bye and venture off. sometimes, we call for some cookies or a snack, but other than that, it is our work and we are alone. which i might have to agree with. there isn't much time left for me to think about the simple things and complex things in life. i can't write in my journals, i don't know how i will keep up with my scripture reading, and how i am supposed to cram in fencing, homework, showers, AND a life, i don't know. seminary, mind you, is exaughsting. i am left to a maximum of six hours of sleep a night, which my body is NOT appreciating. this morning i drooled toothpaste while i was trying to brush my teeth half asleep. as for now, it's eleven fifteen and i still have to take a shower. i can't even get into how classes or going or how i'm feeling because i'm so overwhelmed. and of course, it's not just classes that are causing me stress and pain, we have money problems and i just found out that my young newly married cousin has a rare form of lung cancer and will die soon. all of this combined with the fact that i have seasonal depression means that this winter will probably not be the happiest.
so what it gets down to is that i don't want my cousin to die.
i want to walk around oxford with erica again.
i want to eat at bella italia with chloe again.
i need to talk to katie and no one else.
all i want to do is drink water. food does not sound appealing.
i am becoming obsessed with working out and how fat i am.
i wish i were back in those days.
i am in a real donnie darko mood right now and i'm stuck on repeat for probably the next five years.
i wake up afraid everyday that someone i love will die.
i have never held a boys hand.
the older i get the more scared i grow.
so what it gets down to is that i don't want my cousin to die.
i want to walk around oxford with erica again.
i want to eat at bella italia with chloe again.
i need to talk to katie and no one else.
all i want to do is drink water. food does not sound appealing.
i am becoming obsessed with working out and how fat i am.
i wish i were back in those days.
i am in a real donnie darko mood right now and i'm stuck on repeat for probably the next five years.
i wake up afraid everyday that someone i love will die.
i have never held a boys hand.
the older i get the more scared i grow.
August 30, 2005
WELCOME INTERNATIONAL READERS!!!!!
i had no idea so many people from all over the world read this!! 'tis truely amazing. thank you very much to my international readers. i hope you enjoy the mellowdramas and sapiness of my life. leave me comments!! i love hearing from people.
now, as we all know, julia started junior year of school today. it was... pretty traumatic. needless to say. i have an insane amount of homework tonight and i have to read like... three hundred more pages of democracy in america which is so hard to read i want to cry. it is so. so. so. dull. maybe not dull, but just so thick, it takes so long to get through one page. so burdensome.
Me, antoinette, and caroline, right before taking of for orientation. that was yesterday.
caroline, thanks for loaning me your arm for that second.
the group. what what.
let's not forget the picture mellodrama of this morning.
anyway, i need to organise school supplies and take things from last year out of my backpack and all that stuff so i'm off!!
now, as we all know, julia started junior year of school today. it was... pretty traumatic. needless to say. i have an insane amount of homework tonight and i have to read like... three hundred more pages of democracy in america which is so hard to read i want to cry. it is so. so. so. dull. maybe not dull, but just so thick, it takes so long to get through one page. so burdensome.
Me, antoinette, and caroline, right before taking of for orientation. that was yesterday.
caroline, thanks for loaning me your arm for that second.
the group. what what.
let's not forget the picture mellodrama of this morning.
anyway, i need to organise school supplies and take things from last year out of my backpack and all that stuff so i'm off!!
August 29, 2005
ADKLAGN
I DO NOT WANT SCHOOL TO START!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
August 28, 2005
Punx Rox
alright so today was a pretty busy day. sorry you missed out annie, curse your sickness! i called antoinette at one umm. thirty or so and we decided hanging out would be a good thing. so i met her in the borders parking lot and we (antoinette, william, and i) decided to drive over to francesca's really fast to find this bouncy car thing that we couldn't find. so we decided to see a movie. so we both drove over to caroline's house and then we went to antoinettes house and then we went to see "THE CAVE." it was fun hand holding screaming time.
afterwards... afterwards we went to quizno's i dropped people off at wills house, and then i went home. i thought i was going to a church activity however it turned out to be rediculously far away and i was too late to leave for it. so antoinette, will, and caroline show up at my doorstep at eight or so. thus we hang out in my room, go to coldstone, cuddle on my bed, take pictures, listen to music, and teach william how to dress, how to wear axe, and how to treat a laaady. it advanced him a total lot in his hotness. observe.
this was him when he walked up to my door. slash all day.
and this was him with a short, not complete, make-0ver.
thus i never wanted to let go of him. sigh. you should probably close up.
it was a good night. a fun night. an altogether bang out of a day for the end of summer. bravo team. bravo.
afterwards... afterwards we went to quizno's i dropped people off at wills house, and then i went home. i thought i was going to a church activity however it turned out to be rediculously far away and i was too late to leave for it. so antoinette, will, and caroline show up at my doorstep at eight or so. thus we hang out in my room, go to coldstone, cuddle on my bed, take pictures, listen to music, and teach william how to dress, how to wear axe, and how to treat a laaady. it advanced him a total lot in his hotness. observe.
this was him when he walked up to my door. slash all day.
and this was him with a short, not complete, make-0ver.
thus i never wanted to let go of him. sigh. you should probably close up.
it was a good night. a fun night. an altogether bang out of a day for the end of summer. bravo team. bravo.
August 26, 2005
DEAR JAMIE... SINCERELY ME.
curse my school for stealing my brandnew laptop from my grasp! i'm pretty sure i'm going to stick with the italian names for my electronics (first digital camera was giovanni, the replacement was giovanni II, perhaps this laptop can be gianni or paolo or something like that.) i'm starting to fall in love with my sun glasses by the way. falling in l-0-0-0-0-v-e with them.
g4mer.
so zack came in my room last night and was very weird about me liking the lead singer of green day, like he's angry i don't find him (zack) hotter. it's strange. and then last night he said that when he turns around he can hear my voice but he can't see my beautiful face, so he held my hand. he is adorable though, that is no lie.
So. Summer is drawing to a close, and really, i don't like it. i'm not going to say, "i don't know how i feel about it," this year, because i do know. i know that i haven't read democracy in america yet and that i have to for school by monday or maybe tuesday at the latest. i know that i have a ton of work ahead of me and papers and projects and really lame boring complicated stuff like that. i know that i'm signed up for two science courses that i really really don't want to take. PLANT PATHOLOGY? WTF? yeah that's right, wtf, hXc.
AH! i've been reading way too much urban dictionary and i've been on myspace way too much. i'm starting to love OMFG, OMFGZ, LOLZ, hXc, and i am now mockingly calling everything "the sex"
good gravy what has happened.
margaret and chad are gone, have i mentioned that yet? have i also mentioned the incredible pain fencing pre-season is putting me and anna simon through? today i hope that we play soccer or something because i still can't move my legs. gag. i mean *gagz*
I'M GOING wow. i'm going to go because it is almost noon and i want my last days of summer to be memorable in some sort of way. OH I HOPE I GET QUIZNOS.
g4mer.
so zack came in my room last night and was very weird about me liking the lead singer of green day, like he's angry i don't find him (zack) hotter. it's strange. and then last night he said that when he turns around he can hear my voice but he can't see my beautiful face, so he held my hand. he is adorable though, that is no lie.
So. Summer is drawing to a close, and really, i don't like it. i'm not going to say, "i don't know how i feel about it," this year, because i do know. i know that i haven't read democracy in america yet and that i have to for school by monday or maybe tuesday at the latest. i know that i have a ton of work ahead of me and papers and projects and really lame boring complicated stuff like that. i know that i'm signed up for two science courses that i really really don't want to take. PLANT PATHOLOGY? WTF? yeah that's right, wtf, hXc.
AH! i've been reading way too much urban dictionary and i've been on myspace way too much. i'm starting to love OMFG, OMFGZ, LOLZ, hXc, and i am now mockingly calling everything "the sex"
good gravy what has happened.
margaret and chad are gone, have i mentioned that yet? have i also mentioned the incredible pain fencing pre-season is putting me and anna simon through? today i hope that we play soccer or something because i still can't move my legs. gag. i mean *gagz*
I'M GOING wow. i'm going to go because it is almost noon and i want my last days of summer to be memorable in some sort of way. OH I HOPE I GET QUIZNOS.
August 24, 2005
jrexxx.
It's twelve thirty in the morning and i am very tired. my bed is occupied by two little children who want me to wake them up in a few hours when mary gets back so that they can be transported to the comfier bigger bed downstairs.i want to sleep, but i have to wait another thirty minutes to an hour and thirty minutes until mary gets home. my parents get in tomorrow of which i am very excited. for once it's not their presents or attention or money i want, it's just i want to see their faces and to hold them. My dad said that the london bombings had a bigger affect on me than i would like to think... maybe he's right. i feel like september eleventh was an immidiate traumatic reaction, and the scarring from that will never heal fully. however this was different. i was in a country by myself and i tried not to think anything of it, but now i think that the effects are finally having a toll on me. the whole experience was much more traumatic and scary than i will ever admit to any soul. i'm not as strong as i act.
postsecret could be the greatest blog created. it just really makes you realize that everyone has something in common. we all put up fronts, we all have secrets, we all do weird things. it's a fantastic feeling reading that website.
alright, so now that i've got this counter, i'm just curious, who do i know in irving slash arlington? anyone? anyone from irving or arlington want to leave me a comment? i mean, i'm just curious.
is cushy a real word? i'd like to know, becuase antoinette used it today and it was in a luvs commercial.
andy milinokis is twenty nine years old. i'm a little weirded out.
i'll never stop loving the sound of hearing people breathing. i love heartbeats, i love pulses, i love breathes. i find the whole thing fascinating. it's just a simple very poetic reminder that you are still alive and that others around you are still alive and cozy in their state of dream. it's such a glorious thought.
i am now officially a myspace addict. zack woke me up the other day, and for the first time in my life i mumbled something before my mind adjusted. what did i mumble? "what in the myspace... what do you want?"
fantastic.
antoinette took us all out to blue mesa today for her birthday. she paid. the lunch was wonderful and delicious and it was incredibly nice on her part to do all of it. i just wish that i could've gone to her sleepover tonight. instead i babysat the kids, which wasn't terrible or upsetting at all, it's just that i wanted that sleepover. i haven't had one in oh-so-long.
i had fun driving my car today... not. i hate driving now. it is a burden and an embaressment for me. it smokes everytime i turn it on and everytime i accelerate and everytime i'm at a stoplight. it has started not accelerating as well, which was really fun this evening when it wouldn't accelerate and i was stuck in the middle of the road with a giant truck coming towards me. i was waiting for the impact. i hate the forever lack of gasness and the always having to put oil in, the fact that i don't even bother looking around for hot boys because what kind of guy would i find in that smoke ridden car. even anna said that when she was parked behind me the smoke went through her vents and she had to roll down her windows. this is rediculous. i'm terribly embaressed and i just don't know what i'm going to do once school has started. ah.
i got my schedule today. we'll see if i can change some things around.
sigh. i'm going to go myspace it.
postsecret could be the greatest blog created. it just really makes you realize that everyone has something in common. we all put up fronts, we all have secrets, we all do weird things. it's a fantastic feeling reading that website.
alright, so now that i've got this counter, i'm just curious, who do i know in irving slash arlington? anyone? anyone from irving or arlington want to leave me a comment? i mean, i'm just curious.
is cushy a real word? i'd like to know, becuase antoinette used it today and it was in a luvs commercial.
andy milinokis is twenty nine years old. i'm a little weirded out.
i'll never stop loving the sound of hearing people breathing. i love heartbeats, i love pulses, i love breathes. i find the whole thing fascinating. it's just a simple very poetic reminder that you are still alive and that others around you are still alive and cozy in their state of dream. it's such a glorious thought.
i am now officially a myspace addict. zack woke me up the other day, and for the first time in my life i mumbled something before my mind adjusted. what did i mumble? "what in the myspace... what do you want?"
fantastic.
antoinette took us all out to blue mesa today for her birthday. she paid. the lunch was wonderful and delicious and it was incredibly nice on her part to do all of it. i just wish that i could've gone to her sleepover tonight. instead i babysat the kids, which wasn't terrible or upsetting at all, it's just that i wanted that sleepover. i haven't had one in oh-so-long.
i had fun driving my car today... not. i hate driving now. it is a burden and an embaressment for me. it smokes everytime i turn it on and everytime i accelerate and everytime i'm at a stoplight. it has started not accelerating as well, which was really fun this evening when it wouldn't accelerate and i was stuck in the middle of the road with a giant truck coming towards me. i was waiting for the impact. i hate the forever lack of gasness and the always having to put oil in, the fact that i don't even bother looking around for hot boys because what kind of guy would i find in that smoke ridden car. even anna said that when she was parked behind me the smoke went through her vents and she had to roll down her windows. this is rediculous. i'm terribly embaressed and i just don't know what i'm going to do once school has started. ah.
i got my schedule today. we'll see if i can change some things around.
sigh. i'm going to go myspace it.
August 23, 2005
I'm gonna look GLAMOROUS
alright fools. i'm only in the june part of saving my pictures to this laptop, and i'm only in the beginning of july for the sending those pictures through email part. i heard that we have to give our computers to mr. bradley. i'm not comfortable with this. i vaguely remember him saying something to me on the phone about how i'd have my computer back the first week of school. what is he going to do with it? i don't want to give it up for that long!! this is indeed a terrible terrible thing. i'm not ready for book distribution. this is the time that everybody comes and everyone sees how much everyone else has changed and sizes them up. sigh. this is why i am now leaving to go straighten my hair.
let the games begin, HEY OHHH!!
let the games begin, HEY OHHH!!
August 22, 2005
KILLER MOTH.
I got my vaio beautiful computer today. It is seriously delicious.
Antoinette called today to make sure i was going to lunch/breakfast with her for her birthday. here's the problem-- I thought that book distribution was on friday and since anto was celebrating her birthday on that day, i assumed my mom and dad would be in town and they would give me permission to go and celebrate her birthday. i mean... she's turning 16. but i found out that book distribution and antoinettes birthday are both on tuesday. problem is, mary assumes that i am going to take advantage of her hospitality while my parents are away. granted, i should've called her when i went out on friday, that was a mistake. I stayed out too late, and yes, maybe i did take advantage of mary's lax nature. however, this is my friends sixteenth birthday. i wasn't planning nor do i plan to do anything else this week. I know that i've gone out a lot, and i'll be hanging out with my friends a lot during school. therefore, i simply want to celebrate antoinettes birthday with her. i hope that mary lets me do this. i'm pretty sure my mom said it was ok, but that's not clear. antoinette also mentioned some "late night partying." i do not know what this means, but i hope mary lets me do that too. sigh. this is all very difficult.
i like the clickity sound of my new keyboard. this computer is scrumtrulescent.
18 in exactly 8 months.
Antoinette called today to make sure i was going to lunch/breakfast with her for her birthday. here's the problem-- I thought that book distribution was on friday and since anto was celebrating her birthday on that day, i assumed my mom and dad would be in town and they would give me permission to go and celebrate her birthday. i mean... she's turning 16. but i found out that book distribution and antoinettes birthday are both on tuesday. problem is, mary assumes that i am going to take advantage of her hospitality while my parents are away. granted, i should've called her when i went out on friday, that was a mistake. I stayed out too late, and yes, maybe i did take advantage of mary's lax nature. however, this is my friends sixteenth birthday. i wasn't planning nor do i plan to do anything else this week. I know that i've gone out a lot, and i'll be hanging out with my friends a lot during school. therefore, i simply want to celebrate antoinettes birthday with her. i hope that mary lets me do this. i'm pretty sure my mom said it was ok, but that's not clear. antoinette also mentioned some "late night partying." i do not know what this means, but i hope mary lets me do that too. sigh. this is all very difficult.
i like the clickity sound of my new keyboard. this computer is scrumtrulescent.
18 in exactly 8 months.
August 18, 2005
Evil Look
Ok, for the sake of mary's sanity, i'm updating. even though i'm her sister and really we could just talk instead, she prefers to check my blog rather than talk to me while trading. misplaced modifier there i think, sorry.
so, i would update my past few days but there is honestly nothing to say. school is starting way too soon for me to be comfortable with. there's only like, one more week with summer. i wish that i could spend the rest of those days sleeping in late and relaxing, but i cannot. with seminary and carpooling, fencing pre-season starting on monday, and summer reading to cram, it looks as though my last days of summer will be filled with ironing, stress, and angry fights. sigh.
i am more nervous about junior year than i have about any grade of my whole life. i'm graduating soon and the idea is very daunting for me. i'm scared, obviously, of leaving my friends and family and security. the fact that i know where i live i will always be safe and loved. i don't want my friendships to fall apart, they must remain intact!
i'm thinking about doing volunteer work in greece.
i miss oxford rediculous amounts still. i miss the people and the hot chocolate walks to class, my boys, the dances, the councellors, everything. i miss walking around town and going where i want when i want. i can't even get freaking quizzno's, what's up with that.
my laptop is supposed to be delivered today. exciting, but i'm not as excited as i'd assumed i would be. it's strange.
you know what's also strange? that itunes shuffles music amazingly well. it's like, it knows what i want to hear and how different songs should be lined up. it's amazing.
i'm hoping that my mom will let me go see red-eye and sleepover at antoinettes on friday. i miss going out (it's been like a week) and such. i haven't had a sleepover since oxford. gasp.
this was a picture that i took while in... umm... stratford. i really like this one, but i don't think many people do/ did. ah well. i've got other, lots of other, pictures i could put up. shout if you want some.
so, i would update my past few days but there is honestly nothing to say. school is starting way too soon for me to be comfortable with. there's only like, one more week with summer. i wish that i could spend the rest of those days sleeping in late and relaxing, but i cannot. with seminary and carpooling, fencing pre-season starting on monday, and summer reading to cram, it looks as though my last days of summer will be filled with ironing, stress, and angry fights. sigh.
i am more nervous about junior year than i have about any grade of my whole life. i'm graduating soon and the idea is very daunting for me. i'm scared, obviously, of leaving my friends and family and security. the fact that i know where i live i will always be safe and loved. i don't want my friendships to fall apart, they must remain intact!
i'm thinking about doing volunteer work in greece.
i miss oxford rediculous amounts still. i miss the people and the hot chocolate walks to class, my boys, the dances, the councellors, everything. i miss walking around town and going where i want when i want. i can't even get freaking quizzno's, what's up with that.
my laptop is supposed to be delivered today. exciting, but i'm not as excited as i'd assumed i would be. it's strange.
you know what's also strange? that itunes shuffles music amazingly well. it's like, it knows what i want to hear and how different songs should be lined up. it's amazing.
i'm hoping that my mom will let me go see red-eye and sleepover at antoinettes on friday. i miss going out (it's been like a week) and such. i haven't had a sleepover since oxford. gasp.
this was a picture that i took while in... umm... stratford. i really like this one, but i don't think many people do/ did. ah well. i've got other, lots of other, pictures i could put up. shout if you want some.
August 16, 2005
Were you Born to Resist?
Ah yes. so i got a hepititus A AND B shot today!!! cause the doctor "recommended it." but she was very nice. she made small talk fantastically and was rather good looking and it wasn't that bad except for i got jabbed with a needle on two sides of my body and it bled more than usual and now my arms are rediculously sore.
so we ordered my computer today. my laptop computer.
um, my baby-soft-skin-scrub really does make my skin feel baby soft. i am just so excited at how soft my skin is right now.
margaret and mary (and chad) got back from their two week long road trip around the midwest and chicago and indiana and canada and all that. both margaret and mary were in terribly foul moods today and i would rather not return downstairs and deal with their wrath. i don't quite appreciate being treated like that.
anna and antoinette drove down (cause anna's got her license now!) and we had dinner and ate brownies and watched twilight zone episodes. unfortunately we didn't have much time together, but ah well. so is life in the suburbs.
so chad and his sister (and her husband and their kids) are coming over for dinner tonight. meh. chad is nice and all, but he's critical of looks and nutrition and sometimes he has a way of making you feel inferior to him. all the time.
anyway, now that it is 348 in the afternoon and i haven't even brushed my teeth yet and i just got out of the shower, i'm going. but first, bess' away message:
Fantastic.
so we ordered my computer today. my laptop computer.
um, my baby-soft-skin-scrub really does make my skin feel baby soft. i am just so excited at how soft my skin is right now.
margaret and mary (and chad) got back from their two week long road trip around the midwest and chicago and indiana and canada and all that. both margaret and mary were in terribly foul moods today and i would rather not return downstairs and deal with their wrath. i don't quite appreciate being treated like that.
anna and antoinette drove down (cause anna's got her license now!) and we had dinner and ate brownies and watched twilight zone episodes. unfortunately we didn't have much time together, but ah well. so is life in the suburbs.
so chad and his sister (and her husband and their kids) are coming over for dinner tonight. meh. chad is nice and all, but he's critical of looks and nutrition and sometimes he has a way of making you feel inferior to him. all the time.
anyway, now that it is 348 in the afternoon and i haven't even brushed my teeth yet and i just got out of the shower, i'm going. but first, bess' away message:
so the sky fell last night, leaving a jungle in my driveway. ahoy, rainforest animals, welcome to my backyard
Fantastic.
