i am not ok with that.

alright, so umm... i think we are all in favor of declaring today a pretty much really really sucky day. like, i haven't cried that hard since... like... may of last year. so, pretty much in overview form, colin and i were supposed to hang out tonight, and i had asked him if we could do it (since his birthday is on sunday) like, a week in advance. wow, that was an awkward sentence.
anyway, so like, i don't know if he can come or not, and my friends are all at football games and band performances and i needed someone to comfort me and surprise surprise, there was no one. NO ONE. oh, by the by, i got a text from him later. at about nine thirty. saying he couldn't go. wow, that's fantastic, only a few hours later than i needed. i got dressed up. i looked frickin delicious.



if i may say so myself. anyway, i hated not knowing, and i just. it's happened too many times. so tomorrow, i have to call him and talk to him about how i feel about this and what my problem with him is, and since he appreciates honesty he better freaking appreciate this cause this is just not the kind of thing i do. really. but, i was at the point of serious... serious depression. i was. SO. sad. like, i kind even find words to describe it. and i can't really explain what it was exactly that made me so sad, because i was bawling before i even found out that he officially couldn't go. i guess it's just the feeling of being stood up or whatever. gosh i hate boys. no wonder everyone tells me to avoid them.
and in all seriousness, i needed someone to talk to so badly. and there was no one.
world, you have failed me.