i don't think i have told anyone, but i have a live journal now. i'm not sure if i want to tell people about it though. maybe i should keep this one secret? hmm... i don't know. tomorrow i'm sleeping over at antoinette's house, and i think i get to drive there which should be really fun. but that is a very slight maybe, probably not. my dad may be too tired. i still have to pack for the whole thing though. today was pretty fun. My life has become consumed with neopets, that really stupid game i used to play in the fifth grade. there is something about it... maybe i feel more independent handling my own "money" and getting "money" from playing "games", i mean games. i don't know. i've been very lazy lately, not very happy about that. my room = inhabitable. i sleep there, and wash my face and brush my teeth and get dressed. and i never go in for the rest of the day. i have to read a book for history class still, and i have to finish writing in my yoga journal.
we watched the emperors club today, and again, it made me all teary eyed. it really is a good movie.
iiiii have to go. i have that whole packing thing... oh wait, no school tomorrow... i don't have to pack until tomorrow! HA HA! well i have to go do not neopets.
Julia

Sunday, December 28, 2003 :::

I believe it was on Christmas eve's eve when I was returning from dropping off my little sister at her friends house for a sleep over. On the way back I was driving along Theiss Mail in front of doerre and spotted an animal in the middle of my lane. With my lightning quick reflexes I slammed on the brakes and maneuvered the car out of the path of the animal while not going into the ditch. My tires slid well past the where the little guy should have been but I didn't feel or hear a thump. I opened my door and looked back on the pavement and saw a big raccoon writhing on its back in a small spatter of blood. I assumed I'd made contact with the unlucky bastard and he must be in pain so I pulled into a driveway and assessed the situation. I figured I could run over it again at speed and try and kill it but I'd have to hit his head. I also had the .22 and some rounds in the trunk so I thought I could just shoot it. I called my dad and he frowned upon the gun idea, since there was a steady stream of traffic. He advised me to just leave it there to die in the street. By now Ricky Raccoon had gotten to his feet but wasn't moving out of the street. It appeared the only part or parts of him I hit were his leg/legs. Reluctantly I drove home leaving Ricky there for dead. I felt bad about hitting him but he probably had a better chance of survival with me than with anyone else. I wasn't speeding and was paying attention so I had about the quickest reaction possible. Wasn't enough for little Ricky though. May my poor, fuzzy, mutilated little friend rest in piece.

Here's to you Ricky. WE"LL NEVER FORGET YOU!!!

Hope it wasnt a mama raccoon. Who'll take care of the babies?



PICTURE OF RACOONS



www.sexmix.blogspot.com


i stubbled across this when logging in. i thought it was the funniest thing i'd ever seen, and by some random guy too!

i did go to the mixer, yipee hooray! it was really fun. last weekend i went over to annies house, and we went to HOUSTONS and hung out around her house, and she gave me a tour, very private and exclusive, and then courtney came over, and we rented some movies, and then we watched lord of the rings, and caroline came over, then antoinette, so we all hung out, then courtney left for a while, so we played clue forever, then we ordered pizza, then courtney came back, then we watched degrassi and radio free roscoe, and then we played more clue, and then we watched lord of the rings, and then my dad called and said i couldn't go to the movie the next day which we had been planning forever, so i was really depressed, and then we stayed up and talked, then courtney left early and i left at noon. it was pretty fun. it's christmas eve! how exciting! i'll feel so lonely when christmas is over, its like, what will be left to do? nothing to look forward to but school... gross. we bought a ping pong table today, with what money i don't know. tonight the whole family will be watching a christmas story, my dad is coming home from work early, we're eating fireman sandwiches, baking sugar cookies, decorating the cookies, opening one gift, watching more movies, reading, "the night before christmas," and probably some scripture passages, roasting marshmallows over the fire, and then going to bed! well, that's at least what i'm pretty sure we'll be doing... i'll blog tomorrow.
jules

i hate school, for the record. this is my last full week, then next week ends friday. i just found out that i'm not sure if i can go to the mixer or not because my mom and dad are hosting this major importante dinner thing and i don't know if i have to babysit or stick around or what. anyway, i'm having a lot of fun, even though school sucks. annie and courtney are amusing me a lot, and antoinette and caroline are being there same cool selves. thank goodness. there have rarely been fights between all of us, and its really refreshing. well, school work is calling, so i'd better go!
Julia

I was reading one of my old friends' old blog, which she doesn't write in any more. I think she is way depressed because it seems like she is so lost and doesn't know where to go. i don't know how i can help, i mean, i try not to be mean to her, and i feel like i shouldn't judge her, but i feel like when we were friends she finally was the head honcho, so she took over and picked on everyone else because she finally felt powerful. i mean, she was finally important, but she said such mean things and demanded so much of me. i don't know, i feel bad about it.
anyway this afternoon my mom and i went to go see honey, and it turned out to be really good actually. i liked it a lot, especially jessica alba, she was so cute, and i didn't know she was such a good dancer! hm, you learn something new everyday. anyway, i still have a lot in my room to clean. better get to that
julia

no school tomorrow! yay! i can clean my room and do laundry! maybe i could even sleep! i hope, i'd better go to bed though, i'm soo sleepy

capi

TROGDOR! burninating the whole village! burninating the peasants.... TROGDOOOOOR! TROGDOOOOOOR!

just trying to keep my fans happy. It's december, and i've only got like... 2 and 1/2 weeks until school gets out for break. i can't describe my excitment. excitement. hm. i have church stuff tonight, for like an hour and a half, which cuts into my "the simple life" portion of the night. i also have a lot of homework, because all the classes i had today and yesterday, will be together tomorrow for mom's day. so i kind of have a lot of work to do. i have to write a poem, and i'm having the hardest time doing it, i don't know why. i have some french stuff to do and memorize. dad is gone. mom has started stressing out again. AGAIN, the kids have been so bad again. i can't figure it out. when i'm not there nontheless! they are so so so terrible. i can't take it. my room is sooo soo messy. my brain hurts. my teeth hurt (orthodontist yesterday!) and i'm procrastinating a lot. a lot a lot. i've got and hour and a half to work. then i have to go. so i'd better get to it.

people are not coming now because i do not update enough! i feel shameful! well, thanksgiving was very humorous. i guess. it was very relaxed and mellow, and rather enjoyable (many blackmail shots) until maureen called... HANSEN EMERGENCEY! it was like, chloe ran away or something, and everyone was crying, and there was a lot of screaming. i finished watching french kiss with my sister and my dad, great movie. last night, mary's friends came over shhhh just to see me, and we had a good time of playing trivial persuit ( i tied with bonnie! exciting!) then we watched the justin timberlake SNL, "bring it on down to omlettville" and we dressed up. earlier yesterday afternoon, we went to urban outfitters, but i didn't get anything. my mom got me a very lovely black skirt which wasn't cheap, and the exact shoes i was looking for. it was a great day. my dad left and i miss him, he's at a confrence. i have a lot to do coming up, but i will update i promise. fans, come back! PLEASE!

well i guess i'm not good enough for mary's website. i see how it goes. school is out for thanksgiving in one more week, thank goodness. i'm tired, and i'm cold, and i'm tired, and i forgot a ton of books, so i can't do my work, and i'm frustrated. gosh darn it. i need to clean my room tomorrow. its a wreck, but it will be clean by the end of the weekend gosh darn it. oh man i have yoga next week. dang it, it's starting to weird me out. anyway, i'd better go to sleep, i have work work work tomorrow!
Julia

My parents kind of let me go over to antoinettes house today, rock on, kind of meaning my mom apparently didn't technically tell me i could go.... oh well, i had a good time. anto and i stayed after school and helped all the cute debate boys come in asking for our help desperatly, like this one guy who came up to antoinette and was all, "hey do you know where i can go have a smoke?" and she was all "ummm yeah, outside." so this guy and his friends walk out in front of the glass doors and just start puffing their lives away, my gosh. anyway, we helped the rest of the guys and girls get to their rooms, and then we hung around the school for a bit, read the remarker, and then antoinettes mom came and picked us up. we hung out in her room for a while, while i gradually took over her incredibly cozy bed, until we decided to order pizza and coke and watch x-men. and indeed it was as great as i had hoped for. the away message i came up with for her computer that night:
Auto response from beeeep (sorry, i can't give you her screen name, you might stalk): *check, check*
This is Julia on Antoinettes computer and personally i have to say that we are having a blast. i mean, we are having a party over hurrrr. the cheese is flowing (over the pizza....) and the movies are playing, and i'm dancing like britney, and personally i am happy that your not around, because I don't like hanging around ugly people because personally that just scares me and scars me. and scccaaaaares me. so coooodainaate. cause i have a date. so don't be late. 208-3151 (that's code for all you lamo's out there.... darn lamo's........)
xoxo,
Jules
(and anto.... who laughed for a little while, and said to put "hurrrr')
p.s. i love you

and indeed it was that long. the beauty of it all. mom and dad and the kids came to pick me up at about nineish, and we drove home. both of them are so stressed out with all these money problems, it's totally tearing everyone apart, and stressing people out, especially me. mom is a nervous wreck all the time and always yelling, and for some odd reason my dad is very tranquille. tranquil. whatev. anyway, i've got to go back to download music. but call me! mary that includes you! margaret too!
Jules

Well shizzle. I'm babysitting th kids again. i had community service today for seven hours helping mentally ill at a carnival. i have homework to do. i'm dead tired. and i really want to smell axe body spray (essence by the way, not that tsunami one they have.) yesterday my adorable mother took me to go see secondhand lions, which was suprisingly a very good movie. i really did enoy it-- i recommend everyone seeing it. its one of those laugh-one-second-then-cry-the-next kind of movies so it=good. bueno. church tomorrow. what i'll wear? never any idea. i have no clothes, and no winter shoes. i know. i have a sad little wardrobe upstairs. MTV so needs to come to my room and re-furbish it. anyway, i'd better go my eyes are hurting from staring at the computer screen for too long.
<3
jules

man, it was late, and i don't know what came over me, but i apologize for the really super lame posts with all the quiz results on them.. that was gay.
the red sox lost! i'm so sad and disappointed! darn yankees, they always beat everyone else... why can't they let the poor man get a break? jerks...
I'm off of school today.. so i'm tired and bored. kind of. i'm not really bored, but i am tired for sure. i might babysit for the scholls tonight, but if i don't i really hope i can go to spirit night with anto because apparantly someone is bringing her boyfriend alongwho we don't really think exists, and even if he does, we don't believe she's done the things she's said she's done... yeah. so if i went, i would have fun dancing with anto and stuff, and i could meet carolines date to homecoming which i'm not going to by the way because my mom won't let me date, which is really crazy, the not letting me go thing, because i'm just going to a dance with someone and dancing the slow songs with them, so i don't understand why my mom won't let me go dance with someone i do that at every party, and if i did get to go to spirit night tonight, then i could also meet andrew, antos stalker, again, and he's so interesting to look at cause he's wierd, and if i did go to spirit night, this would be the first time i've been out of the house for like 5 weekends. phew! RUN ON OR WHAT?!
My mom cleaned my room for me, which was kind of sad in a way that i'm too irresponsible to clean my own filth. i feel even worse because my room is kind of getting messy again, so i feel terrible-er.
Mary's little post about bill is kind of gross... it reminds me of a story i'm writing right now for english for a story we're reading right now called don't lets go to the dogs tonight. i like it a lot actually, it is a very interesting book. it has a part in it about the author, and how she'd been praying for a little sister for so long, and she finally got a little sister, and her mom told her to watch over her, and this two year old baby wandered away and drowned in the lake, and her sister, the author, talks about what she looks like and its way depressing. so i wrote a narrativeish story to fill in the missing gap of what olivia, the girl who died, did and the process she went through to die... does that make sense? any requests asked, and i'll post it if you really really really want to read it...
i'd better go, i've got an important business meeting to attend...
Jules

Hee! You are Jack's "You have to find
yourself a girl, mate ... you're not a eunuch,
are you?" speech. You're quite a bit sex-
crazed, and you assume that everyone else is as
horny as you are. Get it on as soon as
possible so that you can join the rest of us on
Planet Earth ... I'm sure you'll have a good
time doing so.



my gosh it wasn't the one i really got, but i thought this one was really really funny..

umm. riighht. don't kiss often, but thats cool! i <3 quizzes!

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

note to self: never go driving with mom when you've only been driving a few times... that was by far the scariest thing i've ever been through, the more uptight she got the worse i did because she totally freaked out. it was just bad news. anyway. i have a lot of work. darnded school started again. my room is totally terrible, there are baskets of clothes and junk piled on top of eachother, no clean clothes, i can't find anything. and i have no time to clean it. darn. anyway i'd better go. darn school.
Jules

Isn't it ironic that my post is about my sister and my mom leaving today?? It makes me quite depressed. i wish i could go back in time waiting for them to return together. Margaret is gone, and now mary is gone. and my mom too. soon i'm going somewhere out in texas, where i don't know, and i'm leaving for about a week. I'm worried what will happen to jordan and zack, like, will they be incredibly insecure with everyone around them leaving? I'm also freaked because i'll be left home with my dad and maureen, and the two kids, and with all those people, i'm bound to have no privacy, or sanity, in my life. I can already tell that i'm going to go crazy with maureen around me all the time, and i'll have no big sister to whine to, or complain to, and i won't have someone like my mom to drive me away, or get me that coke i needed, and i won't have that sister around who will take me to mcdonalds one morning, just because she wanted to suprise me. i mean, i am totally depressed about all this. i have a toga party tonight but i don't know if i can have fun there, just because i miss everyone so much. i don't think that i'll have THAT great of a time. we're going to see spy kids 3-D again today, and i hope that can divert my mind from any thought of family. i have to take a shower, and i have to clean my room, and i have to do my homework, but mary isn't here any more! and it makes me soo soo soo sad. and my mom isn't here, and margarets not here, and i feel so lost and alone.... darn this. i don't know if i like being the oldest.
julia

My mom will be home any minute!! I'm so excited! Mary will be home in a minute with her! I'm so excited! i've been trying to find stuff to do before they get home, but I'm not patient enough. i keep running to the windows expecting them to be driving with my aunt down the hill to our house any minute!! argh! but they're not here yet. hm. oh well. i have so much to do. i locked my cupbord last night and i tried to open it this morning and it won't budge. my jewelry, tiffany's included, and all my scrapbooking stuff were in that cabinet. i'm hoping my mom can get it open. anyway, i got a french penpal yesterday. her name is lor. she's really cool. anyway, i have to go, i'll write back later.
Jules

I've been babysitting and babysitting all week long! but it's OK, because i think it'll be good for me for my upcoming highschool career. you know, it's taught me a lot of responsibility. anyway, i think katie came back yesterday and i want her to come sleepover. like today! my dad is back in town, and my mom is coming with mary soon. school starts the 25th ugh! but i'm kind of excited to start and see what it's like in upper school. i need to stop eating so much gosh darn it, or i won't be able to fit into any of my skirts! oh well. i was supposed to go to the orthodontist's today, but my babysitter (daytime) doesn't do much, and she never showed up, so i rescheduled it for tomorrow. we don't really know this girl either. she's my brother's friend's mom's nanny's daughter. riiiight. i saw lara craft- tomb raider 2 the cradle of life saturday, and it was pretty good. long, but good. it was actually really scary, i was kind of frightened in certain parts. ANYWAY! i'd better go. i have to move into my new room really soon because relatives are coming and all that jazz. catch you later
Jules

hee! i went to go see pirates of the caribbean again today, with antoinette, and were we SO swooning over johnny depp and orlando bloom, no i mean literally: we were falling out of our chairs melting with love. *sigh*
ANYWAY.... afterwards i went to antos house and we played pingpong, although it was NOT our championship round, it was just for fun. aaannddd i babysat all day and all yesterday and it totally sucks and mom and dad were like "remember this next time you think we don't do anything for you" and i'm thankful and all, but i haven't been paid anything for like a months work! this really DOES suck! well i'd better go.

something weird is chirping long and in shrills in our fire place, and i have no idea what it is....
today we came back to dallas, and it is worse than i expected. it's hot, and humid, its flat, and ugly, and not everyone is nice like in utah. we went to go see pirates of the caribbean with the whole fam and barbara. it was really good and it made me want to be a pirate. i had planned on visiting with, and saying goodbye to patterson, aka jamal, a really good friend of mine who will be leaving to go to east texas until december, and then is moving back to north carolina. but my mom decided that she didn't want to take two cars... ? so she made me stay home and babysit again...? why does she do this to me when i watched her kids for her in provo all the time? and i worked really reallly really hard to watch the kids? maybe she hates me or something... oh well
i miss margaret a lot, and i'm having a lot of trouble not having any peers to look up to. i'm very lonely and wish i had some pirate with a sexy goatee to comfort me, but i've got no one. NO ONE!
i hope katie gets home soon, because i want to do stuff, and i HAVE to go visit antoinette. life is killing me smalls.

So anyway, just ignore that developed post, i was just surprised. anyway, today is our last day to meet people, so we just had dinner with some of the old missionaries in our area. it was interesting. one was making me rather uncomfortable, but the other two were still hilarious. one was really shy when he first started, and met us riding his sister's mint green scooter. he's grown his hair long and now has this shaggy hair-do going on. the other one had glasses and high lights and he was laughing all over the place and giving lots of hugs. it was good all in all. but now i'm with the kids in the apartment with mehissa next door talking REALLY loudly on the phone and i'm babysitting which totally sucks. i pushed all day to go to the BYU bookstore so i could get this shirt i wanted, and then my mom didn't let me buy it when we finally went. that kind of upset me because i was going to watch the kids tonight and i watched them this morning and cleaned out a ton of heavy stuff from the car, and she didn't even let me get a shirt! oh well, i guess she has reasons or something. anyway i'd better get back. but to all my friends-- call me please! i'm coming home on wed. at 1:30 so we have to talk or hook up or something cause i'm gonna die from boredom!!
bye and see you soon,
Jules

ummm... my mom and dad are scared that i'm not "developed" enough for my age, and they're going to take me to the doctor and stuff... this is all weird for me...
hm, oh well, i have to go to bed and go to church tomorrow and do all these crazy things.
Jules

happy fourth of july!!!!

so i'm in my cousin trisha's house, and we're staying here until sunday i think. i went to phoenix for a family reunion, and that was really fun. but now i'm in Utah again, and i just finished looking through some scrapbooks. trisha, i just realized, is such an amazing person. all through jr. high school she got amazing grades, and all of her friends loved her, and she was so happy and cheerful. its like, almost everything she got in life, she put in these huge scrapbooks, and i wish that i had done that. so i think i'll start that sometime soon. she was so happy and she never seemed to be upset or anything!! geez! anyway, i'd better go. bye

i thought i posted yesterday, but i guess not. hmm... anyway. we leave tuesday or wedensday, i don't think we've decided yet. i move into margaret's room this summer, some time, which means that i have lived in every room in the upstairs part of our house. cool! i have so much to do today and this week. i have to give a talk this sunday, and i hate giving talks, i get so nervous. i still have to write it, and i have YW tonight, and i need to do stuff with my friends before i leave. there's other stuff but i don't feel like listing it all. hum! well, i better go do stuff, since i have so much to do after all.

I SAW ROONEY! and i met them, i got a backstage pass, and they were so hot! and they ROCKED the stage, and they were so hot, and i had so much fun and my mom was so nice to let me go! and they were so hot! and they signed my album! and they were SO HOT

ok ok ok. i really want to go to the Rooney concert, and its for people of all ages, but mom won't let me go i don't think, she hasn't fully answered but i don't want to push it. so margaret says i can go instead of her, but i want her to go, and my mom won't go if margaret won't go and it makes me very sad

i just found out that not only are we leaving for provo then going to the family reunion, but we will also be going to provo again for one month, but my dad won't be coming. isn't that sad? i love my dad, he's way cool. and i hate thinking about him alone at home. i think i'll go to EFY when i'm there, i'm not sure. mary having respect for me really makes me happy. cause its hard to gain her respect, and i've been trying to tell the family i don't dress that tarty, but no one will listen! today was a very good sunday. my dad gave a very good talk, and for some reason i got along with everyone-- everyone in the halls were smiling and waving at me and giving me hugs, i love my ward, because its so friendly. margaret is taking me to the new paul frank store tomorrow, and i'm super excited, except i'm broke :( so i'm hoping mom and dad will lone me money... :| anyway!i have a ton to do this summer. i want to go to swiss simester, but i have to work out in order to do that, so i have to lose like twenty or more pounds and stuff, and bike ride and jog and all that. and i have so much summer reading and the new harry potter book comes out JUNE 21st and i'm way excited! definatly! i wonder how my friends are doing-- i haven't heard from them all summer! i can't help but wonder if they'll all be my friends, because i still like them a lot and all, but what if we change abruptly and butt heads? hmm. but i think this summer will be a very good experience, i think that i will do a lot of growing and stuff because margaret is leaving and all that.
anyway, its late and i'm tired, so i'll write back later

margaret leaves for college soon and it makes me very sad. because, although it never seemed like we liked eachother, but we have this bonding thing that no one else sees or is a part of.It's like, she's not like everyone else, you know? and it will be really hard to stay here and be the oldest one in the family. i don't care about the priviledges i will get or what it will be like to sit in the front seat of the car, or what it will be like to drive or whatever. playing john lennon's "imagine" while writing this probably wasn't a good idea-- it's gonna be mushy. i don't really want to grow up. people will die and it will be hard, and life won't be fun anymore. people will depend on you a ton, and you don't have the same care-free time. it sucks. and i mean, what if she gets in trouble at college or whatever, or what happens when i need help, and there is no one to turn to. i mean, i love my parents, but they don't see everything from my point of view like my older sisters do. i thought i could handle this cause i'm older then i was with mary, but it'll be just as hard. especially because she's leaving early in the summer instead of later in the summer like mary did.
WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD
Louis Armstrong

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They're really saying I love you.

I hear babies crying, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll never know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world.

what a happy song. if i could live in a song, i would live in that one. i think the john lennon song is so sad to me, not because of the lyrics but because margaret loves the beatles so much. and it brings back like a silent video of memories with that song playing, and i know this sounds way cheesy, but it's what's going on in my head right now. so bear with me. i think this summer will be a mucho mais bueno growing experience. zeut allors. je ne comprend pas ma vie. allors, je veux dormir parce que je suis tres fatiguee. bon nuit.
what a wonderful world

i just got back from danielle's party, and i am definately tired! but i had fun. i was introduced to tons of cute people, one in particular :-* and man he was fine and ok, i did dance and ellie did teach me that leg thing the spoon one or whatever, and it was fun, and there was a real DJ and stuff. anyway i'd better go to bed
Jules

I'M DONE WITH MIDDLE SCHOOL! woooohooo! my mom and dad were super nice and they got me a coach purse that is way cute and i'm so excited cause i'm going into form I and no one can bring me down! got to go, see you later

i have to wake up at 530 and pack, and its 1200 right now. and i'm taking quizzes? i'm such a loser

find your inner PIE @ stvlive.com

discover what candy you are @ stvlive.com

that website mary found, the urbandictionary.com one, is classic.

Tight-
very sexy

you look very toight, yessh toight like a tiger!

tonight was fun too. i have a feeling that after break this year, i'm going to come back to school different. i mean, maybe physically, but mostly the way i act. this should be interesting, and we'll see. anyway, today we ate at joes and watched mary kate and ashely's winning london, and then more 24, which was awesome. i've had so much fun lately, and i love it! i find things to do, other then watch tv and veg out. its way cool. better go, i'm hanging out with my little bro and sis.

tonight was fun. even though i didn't go with my friends to get a manicure and pedicure. i kind of got offended because they were supposed to come watch the first season of 24 with me, and i got locked out of my house, and like right when i got it, i found out that they had planned a whole dinner afterwards thing, and totally left me out, however they did invite me, but i didn't feel like going. i wasn't in the mood to have someone wait on me. so, i came home today and waited for ashley to come home, and then we ate some ben and jerries "chocolate with brownie mix" new ice cream, and we looked at bridal magazines and rings, and then i watched 24, by myself, cause ashley kind of left. it was lonely, but fun i guess.

my last week of school is this week. so many things to do, and so little time, and too much exaughstian. (spelling?) my friend at school is now set on some africans are so sad and america must help them thing. and i really don't get it, because america really has too much on their hands right now, they're not being selfish. i mean, our educators, teachers, doctors, and money is out there, however their goverernment is corrupt and uses it the wrong way. but is that our fault? i didn't think so, and besides, don't we have the safety of the american people to worry about first? SARS, the war, deaths, murders, kidnappings, yada yada yada. i think people should research what they're talking about before they decide they know everything about it after watching some episode on the discovery channel about how a kid drownds every something or other time, and how innocent people are being suide and why isn't america helping again? oh yeah! i almost forgot! we're at war now, and aren't selfish, its the presidents job to look out for america and the safety of those who live there and president clinton was a good president? how about 1) trashing the white house after he left (how stupid is that? and childish...) 2) raping women, more then one 3) having an affair in the oval office 4) getting us in trouble with north korea (isn't the payback coming now??) 5) not doing anything about osama bin laden when he had the chance to put him in jail and everyone KNEW he was a bad man, and he let him go 6) bad mouthing america when he was out of the country... i mean how great is that president? sigh... exams and sleep now

capitalistmafia.blogspot.com-- my sister looks so pretty in that picture, where she's looking to the right, her left. its just not fair. darn braces...MARY! where's that picture?

just telling you that i'm alive and well! i saw this video called "hot in herre" and it was by some guy named tiga. and it was definatly scary. and there are only about ten more days of school, thats including weekends and exam days. ohh! i can't wait for school to be out! except for the fact that we have family reunion and i don't want to look hideous there 'cause i don't like looking hideous in a swimsuit! and thats all and i'm too tired to say more- my head really hurts.

yes i am still alive. yes its may! MAY! which means school is almost out! ah ha! have to go, late and i'm still in school darn it.

you know, its totally decided that middle school sucks. i mean, everyone has told me this. there are a few good memories, but most of my good and happy memories are swamped with bad ones. really really bad ones. everyone thinks there life sucks. everyone thinks everyone else's life is better. so everyone tries to do whatever they can to try and make it to the top, or be like that other "perfect person." or to make their life seem picture perfect. everyone thinks that i'm a really open person. i am open: about stupid things. 50% of my life, past, and pretty much of things that have happened this year, are hidden in only my head. things that only my family and close family friends know what i'm talking about. none of my school friends or even church friends, come to think of it, no one could understand the pain and chaos that this year has been. i've never cried this much in my life, and i've never had to deal with such mean people. i mean, my friends are nice, they really are. on a good day, we get along nicely. we all exchange laughs, then we all decide to gang up on one person and leave them out. at the time, its exciting, "i'm with them! i'm with the group! i feel so important and popular! i love this day!" i love it, in the beginning. then, we leave for class, or even home, and then it sinks in: i am so mean.why did i just do that? is that person going to commit suicide or something today just because of what we did? i wonder if she's like at home and crying on her pillow. and then when they do that same thing to me. i sit on my bed and cry and think, "i wonder if they know what they did. do they care? i wonder if their talking about me right now? who am i supposed to talk to?" and then i try and vouch not to do it again, but other people don't believe me, and still bring up the fact that i exclude people in the past. and i'm sure i do it now. but i think i'm mad at myself about it. and then what about those situations when its somebody's word against somebody's word? who are you supposed to trust? i'm sick of writing. i sound stupid and mellodramatic, and like a drama queen. i'll write later
Jules

i'm at school and i feel guilty because i called my mom and asked if i could go over to antoinettes house, and she said she really needed me to babysit, and then when i called back later to ask why can't margaret, she said because margaret is coming, and she said forget it, she'll be at her house at 730. and she said it all sweet and stuff, and was really nice about it and now i feel really bad.
Jules

ok, i'm over finding the goshdarn website. i give up. anyway, i have heard complaints that i am not updating enough, and i'm oh so sorry, when i get free time, i promise, i will update my weblog. anyway, tomorrow, theres not really school. i don't really know what i want to do for my speech. like, i have to choose a topic, and i have no idea what to do. ah well, i'll decide soon enough. mary left sunday, and i really miss her. i feel like a part of me is gone, and when i come home and look around for her, i have to remind myself that she went back to college. and thats about all. i get up early tomorrow, so i'd best be off.
Jules

my friend has this blog, and she won't tell anyone the title. and it upsets me, because those kind of things could help people to understand someone better. whatever. i will find this sight gosh darn it! (yeah. right.) oh well. people tell me that i don't update enough. yeah, whateva. so my birthday is coming up. i turn fifteen. that is some pretty cool stuff.so, i think that's about all. i just thought that i should check in, you know, let everyone know i'm not dead or anything, and then just go. there really is nothing to talk about.

san diego was awesome, and i brought a digital camera, i'd put the pictures online, but i can't find the link. darn it. i miss california so much, i cried when i woke up because i missed the cool people and the freedom and the elevator people and the del, and the freedom, and the beach! oh the beach! and the prettyiness. it is all so sad. you know, no one reads this web site, so whats the point of typing? oh yeah, for my own amusement. ha ha ha. what do i have to do to get my name noticed on mary's web site? do i have to talk about mexicans and shooting pistolas or whatever. ok. "oh my. tostado's are so cool. woo woo! watch out, they might poke your eyes out if you throw them around peoples faces." geez. man, who has seen the show on MTV called "punk'D" ashton kutcher is the host and he's wicked cute, and i love what he does. he tells people via microphones in the ear and tells them to go up to celebrities and play pranks on them. what a great show. well i'd better go. nothing good to do, but i'm pretty tired of typing, and i've got to go check show times for clone high and punk'D and other great shows.
Jules

I'm really sad. I'm going to san diego on saturday, and i'm excited about that and all, but i had my hopes up once again for the idea that i would get to take my dad's camera. i mean, its one of those oldish ones, where you have to wind up after you take the picture, and my sister already has a camera of her own. one like it, only for modern. so she doesn't like that one apparently any more, and we've only got one short lense. she's of course taking my dad's camera. i don't know, i've been interested in photography for a while, i just never talk to anyone about it. i really like those black and whites, their dramatic like my personality, but i like color too, because its so bright and happy like me. i wanted to actually take some good photos of san diego, and i'll instead get crummy disposable camera ones. this makes me so sad.

this saturday i am going with my best friend to san fransisco. i mean, how cool is that. i still have so much junk to get though, and i don't know if i'll have enough money, and i am supposed to bring my dads camera but seeing as my sister hates me, it probably won't happen. we're staying at the del, and it should be really fun. i might even swim with the dolphins, we'll see, and that would be fun! i don't have much more news other then that, so i'll leave now, but everyone email me or write me or something. i haven't receieved real mail for like 2 months.
Jules

I don't have school today either. now isn't that cool? so yesterday i didn't do anything but clean my room and start to clean out my bathroom. i still haven't finished, this is hard work man. oh yeah, and my mom took me and the little kids and margaret to mcdonalds, and i swear like no one was driving, it was way empty. so we parked horizontily in a vertical parking lot, and sat around and talked and ate for like one hour. and then i went back to my cleaning ness. and today i woke up at 900ish because my brother wanted me to win mario. so i play that for a little bit, the missionaries come over, i decide to clean a little more, not much success, and then i started on my homework. and i know i'm probably going to have to go to school tomorrow darn it, because the ice is melting and that makes me so sad. that means i have a french test, history quiz, and math quiz coming up that i have to study for. ah well, i'd best be off!
Jules

Last night we ended up eating at Pei Wei, a really good chinese restaurant. It kept on icing outside, yes i like to call it icing, aren't i wierd, so last night, my friend, who's mom is a teacher at my school, IM's me saying"no school tomorrow! my mom got a call!" so today, i sit in my room, so excited that i am missing school. there's like, three layers of ice snow outside, and i'm going to clean my room today, its decided. i will organize it completely, and then i'll do homework for class. and i'll read a book! and drink hot chocolate! take a shower! and all that good stuff! there's so much to do! So last night i went to bed at one, and i woke up at 1130. i feel oh-so-refreshed.and its almost one in the afternoon! which means that i don't have much time to complete all that i want to complete! so i'm going to go turn on my mini fridge/heater and make some hot chocolate and i'll report tonight about what i did!
Jules

hola. its freaking freezing outside. it totally just iced outside. hailed, whatever you like to call it. and the ground is white. which means i'll be staying in today. which means we won't go out to eat. which means i'll be stuck with a mom who is not going to want to cook a dinner, which means i'll have to make one again. for like, the third night in a row. darn it.and i have homework,,, homework. lots of it. tons of it. enough to fill the small country of africa. ha. ah well. thats about all. i just wanted to talk a little bit because i'm so bored. to death. and its totally killing me. i hate being bored. well, i'd best be off.
Jules

Lately, i've had the strange and sudden urge to be really really american. like, living the lifestyle in a tommy hilfiger or american eagle ad. i mean, the jeans, the white flowy shirt, the lip gloss, the adorable blonde guy, bare feet, probably based in california, even texas. in the desert or something. but the sun has to be setting. thats what i feel like doing lately. is that not odd? i suppose. does anyone else go through this stage? so now i'm downloading all these "american girl" songs, weezer, tom petty. all that good stuff. and oldies too. i also wish i could live in the 60's, where things were more innocent and everything wasn't surrounded by terrible media and advertising and sick lyrics. like, the other night in the car, "barbra ann" by the beach boys played, and i knew all the lyrics, when the song was over i flipped through the stations and i heard "baby turn around and let me see that sexy body go bump bump bump." it totally made me feel terrible that i actually liked that song, and new the lyrics after listening to such a cute and innocent song by the beach boys. hm. ah well. other than that i really like life. i like myself more compared to when i was really putting myself down. i've learned to like my hyper and bubbly personality. its pretty cool.not everyone can know all the lyrics to "blow ya mind", listen to shania twain, "man i feel like a woman", listen to weezer, and the beach boys and love them all equally. and i'm not afraid to dance in the car or anywhere. i think its kind of funny. but maybe i think its funny because its 140 in the morning. but anyway, the point is, is that i like my lifestyle, and i wish that everyone could live it one day. they would totally have a blast. not every day is perfect, but who's is? hee hee! i'd better go. i've got to go dance to some music, and right now i'm listening to "your still the one" so i really wish i had a boyfriend. darn it! 2 more years! actually, 1 and 2 months. hee hee!
love ya babe
Jules

i slept 3 hours last night. darn it. i can't seem to fall asleep at all the past 2 days. ugh.. my head, its pounding. this man in my house, he just won't die. he won't leave! you know, after a certain period of time, you OVERSTAY a visit. i think that visit was over stayed in december. and then he left january. and then he CAME BACK. he just won't DIE.
ah well. i am in debate right now. i'm supposed to be researching for teen curfew (pro) but you know, i'm just not in the mood. antoinette has been sick for a while, and i feel sorry for her. she should be coming back tommorrow. i hope. katie is mad at me because she thinks that i am jealous of her or something. i don't really know. whatever she thinks, i doubt its what is actually wrong with me. i am very tired, and i took my adderal today. so, i don't talk much when i take it. last night i told my mom that smith was an a-hole, i mean, i actually said "a-hole" and not the substitute. i don't know why i said that. i'm very upset with myself, because i had no reason to be so crude, and the whole thing was just stupid and my mom and dad got mad at me for saying that, which i think is rediculous, because even though i never say that and i think its crude, i know margaret says it a lot, but she never gets yelled at. and she seems to be upset lately, and her mood swings are very stressful, so i never know how to walk in the car, because she might be happy and she might be evil. and its just not cool. and i am now very worn out and should probably leave before the debate teacher comes in asking us how we're doing.
Jules

hey! i'm updating again! its just because i don't have school today. well, lets see. not much to say. the all american rejects are the best. 1) one more sad song 2) swing, swing 3)My paper heart. shibby stuff. man, this guy is back visiting and i wish he would just leave. he makes me uncomfortable. he leaves in one week. this valentines day i got a red rose from smith. that was super sweet. along with cards, candy, light up pens! and sponge bob love. not much else. i am hoping my sister will take me to go get the film developed from my valentines party/ dance. we'll see how it goes. when the song ends, i'll stop typing and go ask her. so this may be a long blog with no point. i am sick of having headaches. i get them all the time, and they won't die. i got lots of sleep. why do i have a headache. i think i already know the answer, but i can whine anyway, because this is my website. ha! and i'm tired of typing so i'll end the song and ask my sister to take me to the store. later baby
Jules

woah there nellay! i haven't updated in forever! sorry to all my viewers. not much has happened. ha, thats a lie if i've ever heard one. lets see, since january 26th.... well, i'll summerize the last weekish...i can't say some things, publically, you know... but saturday i had a valentines dance, where i did dance with three guys. i had a blast, despite the fact that i was sick! and sunday, i was also sick, so i stayed home with the kids. did i mention that my sister flew in suprisingly on friday, so i got to hang out with her, but she left this morning. this morning at school, i crammed as much homework in as i could cause i just didn't feel like doing it this weekend. and i hate the preassure feel you know? i mean, one week, i wish i had everything done, and i could relax. anyway, i have friday-monday off this week, so it won't be too long, except for the fact that i have a math quiz wedensday, history paper (we just found out) due thursday, science project due wedensday, english poem sometime this week, and i'm sure we'll have a french quiz over something or other. and that pretty much sums up the life of julia. you know, i wish i were kelsey, this girl at my school. she's so pretty and smart, and athletic, and perfect, and it frustrates me because i don't know how she fits time! and she always seems relaxed! how does all this work? oh well, i'd best be off. school is tommorrow after all.
Love all,
Jules

Man my sister can be a JERK. something or someone caused her to have a bad day, so she screams at everyone. the little kids were acting up in the car, i'll admit, but she screamed her head off because they wouldn't listen to her. and i just stared at her out of awe. she just started telling me to stop looking at her, that i was driving her crazy too. and then i said something pseudo mean, i forgot quite what, and she punched my arm. so i punched her back, and she punched me again. and then said, "well why don't you cry about it baby." so i punched her again and then just broke down telling her how mad i am at her for saying that she would be nicer and then come back and be mean again, and how she's not saying the best vocabulary, and how i just wanted it all to stop. and when we got home, she went inside, got something, and then left. but before i would let her leave i asked her where she was going. she said no where. i asked her again. none of your business. i asked her again. why would you care. i asked her again. i'm just going for a drive. she thinks i don't care. sure, i am mad at her, and she's probably furious at me for something or other, but that doesn't mean i don't care about her. i don't want her to go and kill herself or something. anyway, i know this is probably stupid to everyone else out there who reads this sad little site, but oh well. i really needed the venting.
Jules

well, darnded school started a while ago. the first day was fun. but then i lost more sleep, and more sleep, until i got to the point that i'm at now, where i am a dead tired fool. and i have to study for exams. and i have a math test tommorrow, that i am really scared about. so that means that i should probably go, and when i find the time, i'll post a longer thing.

its christmas break, and i start school on monday. dang it, the fact that i have to return to school destroys my whole week, because i know i'll have to start frantically studying for exams. mary is very kindly taking me out to see the sneak preview of "chicago" the musical, along with some of her friends, because i've had a horrible night. anyway, nothing much else is going on. all of my friends are out of town, so it is oh so boring. well i'd best leave. we're leaving in like thirty minutes.
stop! the other half of "to serve man" its, its, its a COOKBOOK!