Answer is No

so school has started. wass was pretty much correct that this is the year that we go to war. we pack our bags, kiss our family good-bye and venture off. sometimes, we call for some cookies or a snack, but other than that, it is our work and we are alone. which i might have to agree with. there isn't much time left for me to think about the simple things and complex things in life. i can't write in my journals, i don't know how i will keep up with my scripture reading, and how i am supposed to cram in fencing, homework, showers, AND a life, i don't know. seminary, mind you, is exaughsting. i am left to a maximum of six hours of sleep a night, which my body is NOT appreciating. this morning i drooled toothpaste while i was trying to brush my teeth half asleep. as for now, it's eleven fifteen and i still have to take a shower. i can't even get into how classes or going or how i'm feeling because i'm so overwhelmed. and of course, it's not just classes that are causing me stress and pain, we have money problems and i just found out that my young newly married cousin has a rare form of lung cancer and will die soon. all of this combined with the fact that i have seasonal depression means that this winter will probably not be the happiest.
so what it gets down to is that i don't want my cousin to die.
i want to walk around oxford with erica again.
i want to eat at bella italia with chloe again.
i need to talk to katie and no one else.
all i want to do is drink water. food does not sound appealing.
i am becoming obsessed with working out and how fat i am.
i wish i were back in those days.
i am in a real donnie darko mood right now and i'm stuck on repeat for probably the next five years.
i wake up afraid everyday that someone i love will die.
i have never held a boys hand.
the older i get the more scared i grow.