jrexxx.

It's twelve thirty in the morning and i am very tired. my bed is occupied by two little children who want me to wake them up in a few hours when mary gets back so that they can be transported to the comfier bigger bed downstairs.i want to sleep, but i have to wait another thirty minutes to an hour and thirty minutes until mary gets home. my parents get in tomorrow of which i am very excited. for once it's not their presents or attention or money i want, it's just i want to see their faces and to hold them. My dad said that the london bombings had a bigger affect on me than i would like to think... maybe he's right. i feel like september eleventh was an immidiate traumatic reaction, and the scarring from that will never heal fully. however this was different. i was in a country by myself and i tried not to think anything of it, but now i think that the effects are finally having a toll on me. the whole experience was much more traumatic and scary than i will ever admit to any soul. i'm not as strong as i act.
postsecret could be the greatest blog created. it just really makes you realize that everyone has something in common. we all put up fronts, we all have secrets, we all do weird things. it's a fantastic feeling reading that website.
alright, so now that i've got this counter, i'm just curious, who do i know in irving slash arlington? anyone? anyone from irving or arlington want to leave me a comment? i mean, i'm just curious.
is cushy a real word? i'd like to know, becuase antoinette used it today and it was in a luvs commercial.
andy milinokis is twenty nine years old. i'm a little weirded out.
i'll never stop loving the sound of hearing people breathing. i love heartbeats, i love pulses, i love breathes. i find the whole thing fascinating. it's just a simple very poetic reminder that you are still alive and that others around you are still alive and cozy in their state of dream. it's such a glorious thought.
i am now officially a myspace addict. zack woke me up the other day, and for the first time in my life i mumbled something before my mind adjusted. what did i mumble? "what in the myspace... what do you want?"
fantastic.
antoinette took us all out to blue mesa today for her birthday. she paid. the lunch was wonderful and delicious and it was incredibly nice on her part to do all of it. i just wish that i could've gone to her sleepover tonight. instead i babysat the kids, which wasn't terrible or upsetting at all, it's just that i wanted that sleepover. i haven't had one in oh-so-long.




i had fun driving my car today... not. i hate driving now. it is a burden and an embaressment for me. it smokes everytime i turn it on and everytime i accelerate and everytime i'm at a stoplight. it has started not accelerating as well, which was really fun this evening when it wouldn't accelerate and i was stuck in the middle of the road with a giant truck coming towards me. i was waiting for the impact. i hate the forever lack of gasness and the always having to put oil in, the fact that i don't even bother looking around for hot boys because what kind of guy would i find in that smoke ridden car. even anna said that when she was parked behind me the smoke went through her vents and she had to roll down her windows. this is rediculous. i'm terribly embaressed and i just don't know what i'm going to do once school has started. ah.

i got my schedule today. we'll see if i can change some things around.


sigh. i'm going to go myspace it.