yay! i haven't done this in a while and i really enjoyed it last time, so now, it is time for an update. these will be vague. hopefully.
1. You made me get into emo fashion. you taught me some of the coolest bands i know, you silently affected me more than you could ever realize. Your photos are amazing and you are amazing. You make your own rules and have your own sense of fashion and that is why i look at you with awe from a distance.
2. We have had some seriously rough patches. And there have been times when we almost decided to give up and never talk again. i'm so glad that we have gotten through all that and all the problems we have with eachother. You are the person who used to be my role model. i can't say that you've always been there for me, but you've been one of my best and most amazing friends.
3. haha, what to say. you are such an important figure in my life. we've gone through talking for days and not talking for months. i've told you my most dark and deep secrets. you have looked up to me, i know, but i haven't always treated you with the kidness you need and deserve. thanks for always wanting to be my friend. you were my first best friend and we will die together that way. i heart you so freaking much.
4. you know, i used to be really mean to you. and i used to not like you at all. and i used to be mean to you to your face. but you have turned out to be one of those people that just totally goes against all odds. i never would have guessed you would turn out the way you have. you have your own other set of friends, you have a total unique style, and i now look at you in a totally different way. kudos to you.
5. i absolutely love your quirky interests and the fact that you will run out to my car and have the most original ideas for things to do. i love that when i'm with you i feel free and never bored, and i love that you are not afraid to just get up and leave because you want to go home and hang out with your family. i love that you are shy and that you have such an awesome style and i love how nerdy and booksy you are. you're simply the best.
6. you messed with my heart so badly. there are no words. i love you and i hate you. you have been the sweetest boy to me ever and you have phunked with my heart so badly as well. you know who you are, and so do a whole bunch of other people. we have some fantastic memories. please come home to me.
7. you're starting to weird me out actually. i love you, but you are honestly starting to creep me out. maybe this is my mind playing tricks on me or something, but yeah. however. you have always been a steady strong friend and i'm so glad that you're always up for doing stuff when i call you. but. you can't have me. but. i... like you? but not in that way, ok? ok. so. just so you know, you are a very awesome friend and i am so glad that god has placed you in my life.
8. i think that i have looked up to you like my whole life but now i'm realizing that you're human just like everyone else. you are too proud! stop it! let it go and stop being so spoiled and lying when something is wrong. i can tell when you are upset or when something is wrong. stop publically humiliating people just so that you win the conversation. it's the rude and easy way out and you just make me cry doing it anyway. i will never stop looking up to you, but you need to losen up and just take things as they come. stop overanalyzing everything.
9. i know that you do things your not supposed to but you don't. wait. no, you don't know that i know some of the things. you are still totally awesome though. you really are one of the most uplifting people in my life and i'm so glad that we decided to be friends.
10. i have been mean to you my whole life pretty much. and you don't deserve it at all. you are totally original and you don't give a care what anyone thinks. you are incredibly fragile hearted but you put up a tough front. i love you more than you will ever EVER know and you need to understand that if you just wouldn't... if you would... if you would just open up to me and get me to apologise we could be better friends than you could ever guess. please please. we've been fighting for so long. i want us to love eachother more.
light up. light up. as if you have the choice. even if you cannot hear my voice. i'll be right beside you dear.
1 comment:
If I'm #8, I agree that at times I have made fun of other people to take the pressure off me. But I honestly feel that for all my faults, I am not spoiled. I can be self-involved and a know-it-all, but I have very little expectations as to things I deserve, which I think spoiled children have.
As for keeping emotions on lockdown, that's part of a survival method I need to get through a difficult year and still help mom and dad. I have lived life dramatically and externally and find that it saps energy, something i need to preserve. Don't worry, I won't always be like this.
Believe it or not, I'm not an act. I really am this reasonable, and really believe that being rational and helpful is more important than being emotional and self-involved. If I'm hard on you, it's because I have seen what an amazing, sweet person you are, how caring you are, and it bothers me that you are reducing yourself to a bag of "i want, I need..." Moderation is virtue--bridle yourself.
If I'm not #8, oh well.
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