Virgin Suicides

What a day. What a week. What a month and what a school year.
Today was quite the day. Not in one of those ways where you did so much and you feel so accomplished. Or where you and your friends went out and you laughed really hard and had hands out the windows and life was good. Not those kinds of days. It was one of those druggy hazy kind of days where nothing feels real and you feel ambient, you feel all the moments happening around you slipping through your fingers and you don't see a point to anything around you, but it doesn't matter. You know, just like, whatever happens it just happens and it doesn't really bother you.
Anyway, so i woke up late today. I've been having a hard time sleeping lately and it's making me bloated and have red eyes so i feel even more like a druggy. Anyway, the point is I woke up late. I'm always sick in winter semester, chronically ill, you know what i mean? So I woke up and went and got a sandwich and ate it in the booth alone. I talked with Jordan, listened mostly, and watched the guy clean the floor and watched multiple obese women come in and order bagels with large amounts of cream cheese. Like, they asked for more than usual. I mean, Einstein's already puts a lot on, I can't imagine wanting any more on my bagel.
So I drive back home determined to get stuff done. After showering and shaving my legs and feeling pretty damn proud of myself, I went to my room in the hopes of getting some shakespeare reading done. Boy did i ever... not. I didn't. It's so thick, you know? I have to be in a shakespeare mood. So i decided to watch Hamlet. Which version? Why the 1948 version of course! With Laurence Olivier! I got about thirty minutes into it and couldn't handle it any longer. I picked up some things in my room. I talked with jordan and antoinette and my mom, all briefly, and then I sort of sat around and listened to music. And then I tried watching a bunch of movies but they didn't really work out.
So I ate Chinese food and decided to watch the Virgin Suicides. I did my research, and it seemed pretty solid, no unnecessary nudity or sexy time or gore or whatever so i said why not. I loved it. I loved so much about it.

it made me feel all dreamy and stuff. you know what i mean? it really made me want to lie all over the place. on the ground, on the grass, in a field. it made me love the mystery of being a girl. it made me not want to try so hard to impress boys (its not like i do anyway, but it made me want to attempt to be alluring). the soundtrack was great. air (the band not the substance) has always made me feel dreamy like that. And i'd always loved the song "playground love" so hearing it in all these dreamy circumstances was so wonderful. When it was over I just felt like ice cream. So i ate this delicious ice cream cone and laid down on my bed and listened to air and just thought about how much i like being a girl and how much i like sprawling and growing.
i like learning, just not in the conventional sense. i like meeting new people but i haven't been that way in a long time. i haven't been normal. going through all these photos (as i transfer them onto my new computer) of my past makes me realize i've become more introverted. i understand some of the reasons why, i won't share them, but some of the reasons are frustrating. like, depression. it sucks. i only have it when i'm here, really, but people think that's kind of phony. i can't help it. people here are either depressing because they're so good or depressing because they're trying so hard to not be good. you know? and it's so depressing to see, it really is.
and another thing this movie reminded me of was kissing. i watched Gone with the Wind about a week ago or so and loved it as i always have. it just never gets old. it's one of those great sweepingly romantic movies. but not romantic in the sense that the couple is so happy together, but romantic in the ideals and the way it's shot.

see? sweepingly romantic.
and this is where kissing comes into play. one of the best lines is in this movie. other than the famous, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn," is the better, "No, I don't think I'll kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how."
Very true, Rhett Butler, very true. Kissing is one of those things i've just always been fascinated with. Even as a kid I could see the difference between on-screen kissing in the forties, the eighties, and the present day. It's so interesting to see how it's changed. Let me see if i can find some examples.

from seattlepi.com

In the forties it was this sort of, face smashing thing, you know? it's like, their lips meet and then they just hold it there, forever, until the shot is over with. For me, at least, it never fulfills that urge you have when you're watching a movie in anticipation for the couple to kiss. It's always kind of a letdown. But it's also a trade-off because movies from this time are also some of my favorites, the forties and fifties, you know, you've got Gentleman Prefer Blondes, An Affair to Remember, Breakfast at Tiffany's (which is pushing it time-wise, i know), etc.

In the 80's you get crap like Ghost, or stuff from like, Risky Business or whatever. Pick any 80's movie you want. You get a lot of head moving. I'm guessing with some of the heavier stuff you'd get some intense tongue but I feel like french kissing really got big in the 90's. In the 80's there's always this head moving back and forth really fast kind of a kiss. I always laugh at these. It looks so goofy.

And then you get.... the french kiss. the ever mysterious and seductive french kiss. this, i'm pretty sure, is the most common kiss in movie's now. especially big in the 90's. personally i think the present method of kissing in movies is perfect. it always builds up well, and the guys always puts his hand around her neck (the best) etc. etc. Anyway, i think i've proved my point. Kissing is a fun past time, and it doesn't happen near often enough. Probably because I'm single but it's just such a shame to not be able to practice something I'm so good at. You know? Not like I'm bragging much here, it's not like i have much else going for me.
anyway, finished watching the Virgin Suicides (what a tangent) and then i decided to watch Dhoom: 2 BECAUSE IT'S ON NETFLIX?!? always a great movie. i love it. rhithik roshan give me a call any daaaaaay.
oh wait, he's married.
“I was about half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty... you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are.” -j.d. salinger
so that's all i've got, really. stay mysterious. if you're looking for some kissing tips, i came across this wonderful page that i completely agree with. 
http://www.topyaps.com/tag/french-kiss/