Well this has gone on for far too long...

I have been out of practice with blogging for so long, i'm worried i'll step on other peoples toes or say something that offends people. But I'll take the chance, because no one knows what i've done for the past few years. My life is in complete shadow from the interweb.
Facts:
1. i finally graduated from high school
2. i really do not like the college i am currently attending, but i'll accept it since my dad gave me a blessing that said if i did what i knew was right, i would be married before i left. (but what if i've screwed that up? what if there is nothing left for me here anymore...)
3. I went on a study abroad to Paris last semester
4. I"m going on a study abroad to Vienna.
5. In the past 3 years i think i've dealt with heartbreak 4 times.
6. I miss jacob(s), justin, and ludwig (surprisingly, a lot). I also miss my family so much. and i really REALLY want to visit mary in new york this summer. and i want it to be just like gossip girl, the greatest show ever (aside from murder, she wrote, which is so amazing, i wish i were J.B. Fletcher).

(Christmas in Dallas)

I miss greece. in fact, i just miss europe in general. i do miss my family, so much while i'm there, but i also love the freedom and majesty and grace of europeans, and also, that ancient sort of fantastic you're-on-the-edge-of-the-world-look-how-much-history-is-here feeling you get from it. not to mention its totally beautiful and i can actually walk around and i get to use all my language backgrounds. (italian, french, and now german!) and now for some vices:

Hopefully i won't completely bleed my parents dry this coming semester. I hate the idea of always asking for money. and i hate the recession. and i hate it when people don't pay money when they're supposed to. and i hate dishonesty, and i hate how totally uncultured my generation has become, and i hate how so many people put themselves before others. Are friends not important? and i am really getting tired of drunk/ high people and trying to reason with them. because they always end up being bad friends and hurting you in some way or another.

well, i'm just going to continue listening to the amazing music i've downloaded recently (winter, allegro non molot by vivaldi, satellite of love by lou reed, pale blue eyes by the Velvet Underground, and, not newly downloaded but extremely nostalgic for jacob m., banshee beat by animal collective)

tomorrow should be a good sunday. i am currently staying with john's grandparents in springville, and they are such kind and wonderful people i love it here. and for whatever reason, springville is rustic and beautiful and i like being here. much better than provo, thats for sure. anyway, i'll be here and visiting family and friends for a while, and then me and cait and angela are going to visit the mortensens who invited us over for easter dinner. i love his family, so i'm really excited to go, and i hope we will be well received.

i hope everyone enjoys easter all over the world. unless you don't believe that jesus died, in which case, enjoy your slander. just kidding. you know you love me.
xoxo
gossip girl.