well. it has started.
for the most part.

i've started looking into colleges, printing off applications, organizing files, narrowing choices down. i'm looking a LOT into foreign schools, it just feels right somehow, so i'm looking at places in london and paris and i thought about rome but it felt like i would be really depressed there, so i didn't do that. i also thought about germany, but again with the feeling that i would be really depressed their thing. i think i would be happiest in england, but whatever. and of course i'm also looking at schools in america. it's just so nerve racking, because there are SO MANY appointments, deadlines, meetings, flights, etc. that i now i have to plan and prepare for. it's really scary, this is huge for me.
aaaannnnnddd i've been gone from germany for a while. that just-got-back-from-europe shine is starting to wear off and i find myself jealous of friends that are there right now or who are going still. aaaahhhh. i don't know. i just don't know.

i'm also so incredibly surprisingly (or not so) lonely. i miss hanging out with fabian and ludwig. they were so goofy and laid back.
aaaaccckkk. girls have way too much drama. i've just decided not to get caught up in it. it's so stupid, it's just a bunch of hallow shouts and stuff to make yourself feel more important and bigger and better than everyone else. it just seems stupid if you ask me. it's all about attention, and there are so many better ways of getting attention. well.

that's that.