Insane laughter

I have no idea what my problem is. This is getting out of control. i mean, i had so much homework tonight and i did a half hearted job on all of it, because i just didn't feel like doing it and now i'm in this ruddy slump where i don't want to do anything all day. I think this happens every year, and i hate it. or maybe this is what mary was talking about. she said as i near the age of seventeen, and the whole year i'll be seventeen, my emotional state will suck. and i will feel insane and have this flood of odd emotions at odd times. perhaps this is what she was talking about, and if so, i really, really, really don't like it.
really.
i don't think i can do the blind date to homecoming thing. i'm afraid either the date would be hideous, he would find me the ugliest thing ever, or it would, which i guarentee it would be, very very akward. and so, i don't think i can.
I have more than half of the paintings to memorize for ham and the other half i've only half memorized so really i'm screwed for the whole thing.
I hate feeling like this. i have a screamingly bad headache only in the front part of the left lobe of my brain, i have a bunch of really random stress building up, i'm like, giving up in school, and i just don't care anymore. and i have no idea how i'm going to dig myself out of this one. oh man, what if i'm in it for the longhaul? i'd probably walk out of this scenario with scraggily hair and wild eyes and wondering what i was doing and where i was because i'd been gone from civilization for so long.
oh my gosh. i just realized. i don't want to live. i just want to sit on my bed, and cuddle up with a guy, and sleep. just sleep. for a really really long time. and just block everyone and everything out. ohh that sounds glorious.