alright so i talked to jann tonight. and basically i've been unable to focus on studying for my finals ever since.
typing this is hard, since i hurt my hand, but i'll do it for the sake of knowledge and remembrance.
basically what i learned from Jann is that so many guys are creepy, i'll be surprised if, on meeting a descent one, i don't just maul them right then and there and profess my love. i learned just how many girls have been molested by family members, been raped by church members, been hurt in some physical and emotional way. and the thing that drives me crazy is that NO ONE EVER TALKS ABOUT IT. it's so horrible to ever talk about guys doing wrong here, i hate it. i hear so many sexist comments every day in class. and no one says anything. in fact, often times the teacher laughs. that's probably why i gave up on my AH lab, because so many guys in that class drove me crazy.
so, what i'm getting down to is, if i marry someone, they better treat me really well. because i know what its like, and i know how not reacting makes you feel like it's your fault (when its not).
anyway. the point is, my hand hurts, i've been keeping up with the kardashians instead of studying, i miss jacob and i won't see him in 14 months, and tomorrow is going to be really hard.
lame.
April 20, 2009
April 17, 2009
study time equals sad time.
i hate studying. i hate eating two pieces of really cold pizza in a really cold house in a really cold state that is still snowing in april. i hate my french 321 final that i have to take at 9pm today. and all the other final-y things that i must do. blarg!
on a lighter note, i leave this place in 6 days. i am so excited to go home.
on a lighter note, i leave this place in 6 days. i am so excited to go home.
This is why i hate CNN and most liberals
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dd2tg8gxCDU
this everyday woman makes some valid points. this is the perfect example of how super left wing news reports are contrived, sort of like the beloved michael moore crap that is out there. it wasn't just republicans out there rallying, it was people against the government taking more money from our pockets. they didn't even flash to the signs that said republicans suck too... this wasn't a tea party against a certain political party... it was against our federal government. i just hate contrived junk like this. it's ridiculous. that woman with her horrible highlights think she has the know-how to tell someone off because she had a mic and they didn't. whatever, i can tell you i won't be listening or tuning into CNN anytime soon.
them and gold's gym who will BLEED YOU FOR ALL ITS WORTH.
DON'T SIGN UP WITH GOLDS.
THEY WILL EFF.
YOU.
UP.
this everyday woman makes some valid points. this is the perfect example of how super left wing news reports are contrived, sort of like the beloved michael moore crap that is out there. it wasn't just republicans out there rallying, it was people against the government taking more money from our pockets. they didn't even flash to the signs that said republicans suck too... this wasn't a tea party against a certain political party... it was against our federal government. i just hate contrived junk like this. it's ridiculous. that woman with her horrible highlights think she has the know-how to tell someone off because she had a mic and they didn't. whatever, i can tell you i won't be listening or tuning into CNN anytime soon.
them and gold's gym who will BLEED YOU FOR ALL ITS WORTH.
DON'T SIGN UP WITH GOLDS.
THEY WILL EFF.
YOU.
UP.
April 13, 2009
blarg.
Finals week always crushes your spirits. Its unavoidable. Its like... this is how far you've come, to fail. i have a german oral next week (ew, don't even get me started, gross), and an english final on monday too. i have an american heritage exam (will i even take it? probably not. i think i'm just going to re-take the class another time.) i have... a two part french exam which is going to be the devil. and... i've got... some cultural events i haven't done. umm... yeah. and other things i'm forgetting, but whatevs.
CAT CONSPIRACY.
anyway, my friend/ church goer, kasee, apparently got engaged 13 hours ago. i think she's 21? i... don't know if i'll ever get married. and i say this, not in a sad way, just in a way of weariness. like, yeah, i'll probably get a motorcycle, dye my hair black, and disappear off the face of the planet in 25 years. sort of a way.
i think i'm going to write colin a letter. he gets back in october, and i feel bad for never having done it while he was in japan. so, i'll just see how he's doing.
my brain hurts.
CAT CONSPIRACY.
anyway, my friend/ church goer, kasee, apparently got engaged 13 hours ago. i think she's 21? i... don't know if i'll ever get married. and i say this, not in a sad way, just in a way of weariness. like, yeah, i'll probably get a motorcycle, dye my hair black, and disappear off the face of the planet in 25 years. sort of a way.
i think i'm going to write colin a letter. he gets back in october, and i feel bad for never having done it while he was in japan. so, i'll just see how he's doing.
my brain hurts.
April 12, 2009
Well this has gone on for far too long...
I have been out of practice with blogging for so long, i'm worried i'll step on other peoples toes or say something that offends people. But I'll take the chance, because no one knows what i've done for the past few years. My life is in complete shadow from the interweb.
Facts:
1. i finally graduated from high school
2. i really do not like the college i am currently attending, but i'll accept it since my dad gave me a blessing that said if i did what i knew was right, i would be married before i left. (but what if i've screwed that up? what if there is nothing left for me here anymore...)
3. I went on a study abroad to Paris last semester
4. I"m going on a study abroad to Vienna.
5. In the past 3 years i think i've dealt with heartbreak 4 times.
6. I miss jacob(s), justin, and ludwig (surprisingly, a lot). I also miss my family so much. and i really REALLY want to visit mary in new york this summer. and i want it to be just like gossip girl, the greatest show ever (aside from murder, she wrote, which is so amazing, i wish i were J.B. Fletcher).
(Christmas in Dallas)
I miss greece. in fact, i just miss europe in general. i do miss my family, so much while i'm there, but i also love the freedom and majesty and grace of europeans, and also, that ancient sort of fantastic you're-on-the-edge-of-the-world-look-how-much-history-is-here feeling you get from it. not to mention its totally beautiful and i can actually walk around and i get to use all my language backgrounds. (italian, french, and now german!) and now for some vices:
Hopefully i won't completely bleed my parents dry this coming semester. I hate the idea of always asking for money. and i hate the recession. and i hate it when people don't pay money when they're supposed to. and i hate dishonesty, and i hate how totally uncultured my generation has become, and i hate how so many people put themselves before others. Are friends not important? and i am really getting tired of drunk/ high people and trying to reason with them. because they always end up being bad friends and hurting you in some way or another.
well, i'm just going to continue listening to the amazing music i've downloaded recently (winter, allegro non molot by vivaldi, satellite of love by lou reed, pale blue eyes by the Velvet Underground, and, not newly downloaded but extremely nostalgic for jacob m., banshee beat by animal collective)
tomorrow should be a good sunday. i am currently staying with john's grandparents in springville, and they are such kind and wonderful people i love it here. and for whatever reason, springville is rustic and beautiful and i like being here. much better than provo, thats for sure. anyway, i'll be here and visiting family and friends for a while, and then me and cait and angela are going to visit the mortensens who invited us over for easter dinner. i love his family, so i'm really excited to go, and i hope we will be well received.
i hope everyone enjoys easter all over the world. unless you don't believe that jesus died, in which case, enjoy your slander. just kidding. you know you love me.
xoxo
gossip girl.
Facts:
1. i finally graduated from high school
2. i really do not like the college i am currently attending, but i'll accept it since my dad gave me a blessing that said if i did what i knew was right, i would be married before i left. (but what if i've screwed that up? what if there is nothing left for me here anymore...)
3. I went on a study abroad to Paris last semester
4. I"m going on a study abroad to Vienna.
5. In the past 3 years i think i've dealt with heartbreak 4 times.
6. I miss jacob(s), justin, and ludwig (surprisingly, a lot). I also miss my family so much. and i really REALLY want to visit mary in new york this summer. and i want it to be just like gossip girl, the greatest show ever (aside from murder, she wrote, which is so amazing, i wish i were J.B. Fletcher).
(Christmas in Dallas)
I miss greece. in fact, i just miss europe in general. i do miss my family, so much while i'm there, but i also love the freedom and majesty and grace of europeans, and also, that ancient sort of fantastic you're-on-the-edge-of-the-world-look-how-much-history-is-here feeling you get from it. not to mention its totally beautiful and i can actually walk around and i get to use all my language backgrounds. (italian, french, and now german!) and now for some vices:
Hopefully i won't completely bleed my parents dry this coming semester. I hate the idea of always asking for money. and i hate the recession. and i hate it when people don't pay money when they're supposed to. and i hate dishonesty, and i hate how totally uncultured my generation has become, and i hate how so many people put themselves before others. Are friends not important? and i am really getting tired of drunk/ high people and trying to reason with them. because they always end up being bad friends and hurting you in some way or another.
well, i'm just going to continue listening to the amazing music i've downloaded recently (winter, allegro non molot by vivaldi, satellite of love by lou reed, pale blue eyes by the Velvet Underground, and, not newly downloaded but extremely nostalgic for jacob m., banshee beat by animal collective)
tomorrow should be a good sunday. i am currently staying with john's grandparents in springville, and they are such kind and wonderful people i love it here. and for whatever reason, springville is rustic and beautiful and i like being here. much better than provo, thats for sure. anyway, i'll be here and visiting family and friends for a while, and then me and cait and angela are going to visit the mortensens who invited us over for easter dinner. i love his family, so i'm really excited to go, and i hope we will be well received.
i hope everyone enjoys easter all over the world. unless you don't believe that jesus died, in which case, enjoy your slander. just kidding. you know you love me.
xoxo
gossip girl.