Baby I've got the shovel, and I know that you've got the dirt, so c'mon, honey, let's get together and let's get down to work.
yeah, it's a little sexual tonight. sorry kids.
so, i was looking over old posts, the ones where i'd get like, five reviews, and i realized that the reason no one reviews anymore, or so i assume, is because i've just given up on life really. and i'm sorry about that. today was kind of a downer. kind of sucked a lot. family didn't help. i'm working on my mass capital state plot. we'll see how this turns out.
i wanted to finish my homework tonight, and i'm dead serious when i say this, but something was blocking me from writing my paper and studying for math. i wanted to apply myself SO BADLY but this stupid ADHD prevents me from getting anything done after the medicine wears off, and gosh dang it i just could NOT do it. and i got really frustrated really fast because of it.
i'm still at a loss for why that week and a half at the end of october through the beginning of november was so awesome. no, i'm not kidding. i was so effing happy. i just have no idea why that was. i wish i knew, i miss that giddy feeling i'd get all the time. it was an exciting feeling to have.
perhaps it's just a lack of love? je ne s'ai pas. i'm not saying i need a boyfriend to make me complete, i'm not saying that at all. i'm just saying that i don't feel love from my family right now, and friend love isn't the same, and so i just kind of want that feeling perhaps? i don't really know. i don't know a lot about me actually. i'm confusing myself so much.
deepest apologies to those of you who are not julia drama queen fans. i do not mean to act mellodramatic nor am i trying to behave like that. i actually wish and hope that i don't sound that way. i hate listening to people whine and therefore i hope i am not coming across that way.
if i could have anything to make me happy, if i could go anywhere and do anything and be with anyone, i'd probably go up to either new york city, boston, or chicago, and spend time wandering on the sidewalks of the big cities. i'd probably go to museums and look at artwork and sculptures and then i'd go see various parks and little vintage shops. and i'd go with whoever can make me happy. maybe i'd go by myself. maybe i'd go with annie or antoinette or glenn or caroline or or or... i don't know who! but i think that what i need right now is to leave this place. unfortunately that is not an option for the near future. i have to wait at least... seven bloody months. oh my gosh. shoot me now. all i can do is hope and pray that i get into the oxford program and city term. man i want to be in those programs SO BADLY. well. it's late. i should probably end this rant and go to bed.
I wish the world was flat like the old days
Then i could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes, or speedtrains, or freeways
There'd be no distance that can hold us back.
I LOVE YOU ALLIE! she made my day so much better.
I3eetlebum: julia!!!
Shootingstar0107: allie!
I3eetlebum: how are you my love?
Shootingstar0107: terrible
Shootingstar0107: you?
I3eetlebum: same
Shootingstar0107: awesome
I3eetlebum: heh
Shootingstar0107: margaret got her tongue pierced.
Shootingstar0107: mom's in jail
Shootingstar0107: i'm fantastic!
I3eetlebum: she went back???
Shootingstar0107: yeah. "wreckless driving."
I3eetlebum: oh man, i'm sorry
Shootingstar0107: mary and my dad are downtown trying to bail her out
Shootingstar0107: haha
I3eetlebum: thank god i didn't call mary then
I3eetlebum: i was about to call her and whine
Shootingstar0107: i think i've come to the point where i block everything out. yeah good idea she probably would've snapped or something
I3eetlebum: how are you with everything?
Shootingstar0107: mmmm... i don't know how i'm taking it
Shootingstar0107: i think what i'm doing is
Shootingstar0107: pushing myself deeper and deeper into isolation.
Shootingstar0107: i wear a lot of black. and i don't talk to the family as much. and i spend a lot more time writing and drawing. but other then that, i'm pretty much the same
I3eetlebum: are there friends at school who you can talk to?
Shootingstar0107: ummm kind of
Shootingstar0107: no not really because most of them are a little too caught up in their own dallas worlds
Shootingstar0107: the lack of hindi films doesn't help
I3eetlebum: :-(
Shootingstar0107: i know
I3eetlebum: we still have a date for this dilwale
Shootingstar0107: it's sas isn't it?
Shootingstar0107: sad
Shootingstar0107: oh YES
I3eetlebum: what about people at church?
Shootingstar0107: mmmm
Shootingstar0107: they don't really care i don't think
Shootingstar0107: meh it doesn't really matter. i'll just write it out i suppose. SIGH.
I3eetlebum: haha, and publish a novel at age 18, much like s.e. hinton's the outsiders
Shootingstar0107: YES
Shootingstar0107: that's the plan... HOW DID YOU KNOW?
I3eetlebum: because i'm that good
Shootingstar0107: dang it. i wish i were as good as allie.
I3eetlebum: and my angst is way jealous of your angst
Shootingstar0107: haha
Shootingstar0107: yeah everyone wishes they could pull off the dark eyes and black nails like i can. and the new CARTILADGE PIERCING
I3eetlebum: woooooohoooooooo
I3eetlebum: pictures?
Shootingstar0107: nah. not unless i steal mary's camera.
Shootingstar0107: hold on ONE SECOND and i'll find it
I3eetlebum: rawk
Shootingstar0107: nevermind she's out of BATTARIA
I3eetlebum: boourns
Shootingstar0107: boouurns?
Shootingstar0107: wha'?
I3eetlebum: simpsons reference that my friend john always says
I3eetlebum: i've never actually seen the episode
Shootingstar0107: haha
Shootingstar0107: that's awesome
Shootingstar0107: whoever said they were a wanker, cause they were better then most people, yeah well...
Shootingstar0107: i'm better than them. so there.
I3eetlebum: GreatClippership: Oh fuck a bunch of that business!
Shootingstar0107: haha
Shootingstar0107: HAHA
Shootingstar0107: was that in response to what i said? and who is GreatClippership?
I3eetlebum: yes, and clippership is matt woody
I3eetlebum: aka "wanker"
....
Shootingstar0107: i hate waiting
I3eetlebum: please don't keep me waiting
I3eetlebum: i can't hooooooold out
I3eetlebum: much longer
I3eetlebum: please don't keep me waiting
Shootingstar0107: wait what song is that?
I3eetlebum: i can't looooooove you
I3eetlebum: any stronger
I3eetlebum: olivia newton john
Shootingstar0107: OH YES
Shootingstar0107: please don't keep me waiting
Shootingstar0107: I CAN'T TAKE THIS KIND OF PAIN
Shootingstar0107: take me back... in your arms... once again
I3eetlebum: i watched that last weekend
Shootingstar0107: you know how you made a CD with just that song on it?
I3eetlebum: oh yeah
Shootingstar0107: yeah well margaret used to torture me by playing it over and OVER on the way home from school
I3eetlebum: oh i remember
Shootingstar0107: and now when i'm mad with the passanger, guess what we listen to? THAT'S RIGHT. olivia newton john
I3eetlebum: glad to have passed the legacy on
I3eetlebum: did she torture you with the huey lewis tapes as well?
Shootingstar0107: oh yes you have. oh yes i believe so
I3eetlebum: hehe
Shootingstar0107: man now you got that song stuck in my head
Shootingstar0107: i even posted some of the lyrics on my chatterboxxx
I3eetlebum: haha, sorry
Shootingstar0107: it's ok
Shootingstar0107: i've decided that everything which has an "x" in it will now have thre "x's"
Shootingstar0107: xxxanga. rice boxxx
Shootingstar0107: xxxavier
Shootingstar0107: sexxxy
I3eetlebum: good call
Shootingstar0107: boyzzz
Shootingstar0107: oh wait that's z
Shootingstar0107: woops
I3eetlebum: i'll forgive you
2 comments:
Mmm...boyzzz.
Um, hi. You are so not allowed to quote NIN on your website. Like, ever. You made this big production last year about how you were never going to be goth or punk like your sisters, so now you've got to suck it up and live up to your word. No NIN. No perfect circle, tool, marilyn manson, deftones, what have you. That is mine. And that song is mine. SO get off and stick to the Death Cab. It's something we can all agree on
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