finals.

so apparently next week is the last week of school. that really crept up on me. like, seriously, i thought i had two more weeks. but i have four days! this is insanity/ also impossible.
grey's anatomy is taking over my life. in a good way. (i guess morning would say in a bad way).
my room is beyond help. my hair needs a serious cut and my face needs a serious dermatologist.
but today was a thunderstorm. and it felt good. so i went outside and sat on the steps leading to our little red door, and just planted myself under an umbrella. and it rumbled and flashed and smelled so clean.
i don't know what the future holds. i don't know what my major will be or what profession i want to wake up and go to every day for the rest of my life. i don't know if i'll get my act together nutrition wise or if i'll ever date anyone. i don't know if i'll succeed this semester, and i know i'm not giving it all i've got. and that annoys me.

And here tonight while the stars are blacking out
With every hope and dream I've ever had in doubt
I've spent ten years trying to sing these doubts away
But the water keeps on falling from my eyes

And heaven knows, heaven knows
I tried to find a cure for the pain
Oh my Lord! To suffer like you do
It would be a lie to run away


well. that's all i've got. i'm tired, obviously. i've got a blood clot somewhere in my body. and this sounds like a really bummed out post, but it's not, its really not. this all should probably just be in my journal but i've already written it so eff it i'm just going to post it and sleep.