get jealous.
also. my room is getting messy again, and this is making me sad.
wah wah.
January 26, 2006
January 17, 2006
trouble letting go.
well once i gather my superhero costume i'll be there. annie.
julia. i is bored... why are you sad? caroline.
bored. no family for embarrassment though. if only i could visit you for free. chachi.
awwww julia! well if it makes you feel better im stuck at my ranch with nothing to do but watch football and nothing to eat... and i'll beat colin up for you! caroline. don't remember what she was referring to. maybe he was late again.
no he is an asshole. katie. on her father.
so you were drunk! i suspected that all along. why else would you go after spoons and masticate in marg's ear. drunk, by heavens, drunk! serge. i don't know what he was talking about.
anytime babe. william. on if i ever need help.
you are missing hunks of the day... wass made it special for you. katie.
i need to get presents still... julia, you win. antoinette.
yay for letters! i asked for the internet but i ask for that every year so we'll see... chachi.
school is always a biatch. but are you ok? chachi.
i'm pretty sure i know exactly what thats like. food is just way too awesome. chachi.
go to bed. colin.
sweet i'll check on those on lime wire. ah yay for illegal music piracy... note the time i wrote this. hm no sleep not good. ttyl. ludwig. 1:37am
juliasausage! nick.
i am a legend! you are nothing! nick.
you are a whore and i think you are going to hell. katie. about not being invited to narnia. she was serious too! that's funny to read over again.
none. i am not wearing a belt! however, i cannot say the same about thine mother! nick.
i'm doubting your commitment to sparkle motion! caroline.
woah you shouldn't stay up that late. yeah i am fine any time but tomorrow would be good. L. Ludwig. 2:18am
blake has the longest eyelashes. antoinette.
do you know whose bones are on display here? my bones. your bones. bones' bones. bone bone bone. edisnoom ot emoclew. nick.
BALLSACK! i fly out tomorrow. allie.
waky waky. colin.
oh baxter, you are my little gentleman. i will take you to foggy london town. margaret.
i haven't heard from you in a while, everything ok? btw, i just reread your letter you wrote to me. we should go to nasher sometime soon. colin. finally.
stephen colbert just made my day. margaret.
that dying guy is a jerkq. nick. q.
same... so same. antoinette. on wanting enrique's babies... and body.
homework among other things. research paper is getting hit into high gear. winter formal is on saturday. my room is clean. and i'm lonlier than ever.
:
julia. i is bored... why are you sad? caroline.
bored. no family for embarrassment though. if only i could visit you for free. chachi.
awwww julia! well if it makes you feel better im stuck at my ranch with nothing to do but watch football and nothing to eat... and i'll beat colin up for you! caroline. don't remember what she was referring to. maybe he was late again.
no he is an asshole. katie. on her father.
so you were drunk! i suspected that all along. why else would you go after spoons and masticate in marg's ear. drunk, by heavens, drunk! serge. i don't know what he was talking about.
anytime babe. william. on if i ever need help.
you are missing hunks of the day... wass made it special for you. katie.
i need to get presents still... julia, you win. antoinette.
yay for letters! i asked for the internet but i ask for that every year so we'll see... chachi.
school is always a biatch. but are you ok? chachi.
i'm pretty sure i know exactly what thats like. food is just way too awesome. chachi.
go to bed. colin.
sweet i'll check on those on lime wire. ah yay for illegal music piracy... note the time i wrote this. hm no sleep not good. ttyl. ludwig. 1:37am
juliasausage! nick.
i am a legend! you are nothing! nick.
you are a whore and i think you are going to hell. katie. about not being invited to narnia. she was serious too! that's funny to read over again.
none. i am not wearing a belt! however, i cannot say the same about thine mother! nick.
i'm doubting your commitment to sparkle motion! caroline.
woah you shouldn't stay up that late. yeah i am fine any time but tomorrow would be good. L. Ludwig. 2:18am
blake has the longest eyelashes. antoinette.
do you know whose bones are on display here? my bones. your bones. bones' bones. bone bone bone. edisnoom ot emoclew. nick.
BALLSACK! i fly out tomorrow. allie.
waky waky. colin.
oh baxter, you are my little gentleman. i will take you to foggy london town. margaret.
i haven't heard from you in a while, everything ok? btw, i just reread your letter you wrote to me. we should go to nasher sometime soon. colin. finally.
stephen colbert just made my day. margaret.
that dying guy is a jerkq. nick. q.
same... so same. antoinette. on wanting enrique's babies... and body.
homework among other things. research paper is getting hit into high gear. winter formal is on saturday. my room is clean. and i'm lonlier than ever.
:
January 10, 2006
hallapazoo
ok i'm torn about graduating. let's put it this way-- i love my family to death. i am comfortable here, with them. i love my parents and i love hanging out with them. i'm always afraid that one of my family members will die. vs. i am so sick of high school. i just want to graduate. sometimes i wake up feeling like i really just want to get out of here, get a car, and go to college-- independence. other times i wake up and am like... i never want to leave. i just don't know.
and i don't graduate for another year! but everything is passing by so quickly.
my head hurts and i don't want to go to the endocronologyst or however you spell it. i hate getting my blood taken. especially for tests. who knows what will come up.
thank heavens the rest of the school day is toned down. i so do not feel like doing anything. with the junior research paper coming up. i am so exhausted. i also have to save up a good 120 dollars for all the rest of the wf stuff. AHHH.
in other news, my mom went with me (more like i dragged her along) last night to the mall and i bought my winter formal dress at betsy johnson. it's totally rock n' roll funky kind of 80's dress-- something i never thought my mom would pick out. i thought i would go glam this year but mary says that i could do that anytime.
leaving.
and i don't graduate for another year! but everything is passing by so quickly.
my head hurts and i don't want to go to the endocronologyst or however you spell it. i hate getting my blood taken. especially for tests. who knows what will come up.
thank heavens the rest of the school day is toned down. i so do not feel like doing anything. with the junior research paper coming up. i am so exhausted. i also have to save up a good 120 dollars for all the rest of the wf stuff. AHHH.
in other news, my mom went with me (more like i dragged her along) last night to the mall and i bought my winter formal dress at betsy johnson. it's totally rock n' roll funky kind of 80's dress-- something i never thought my mom would pick out. i thought i would go glam this year but mary says that i could do that anytime.
leaving.
January 04, 2006
January 01, 2006
So This is the New Year
i know i am horrible at posting.
i'm in missouri and it is roughly 1230 of the new year. this trip was pretty fun, i was supposed to be in dallas for the new year but i guess i didn't make it. it was actually the most depressing new year i've ever had. i sat in the corner (dark because my sisters are sleeping) playing jewel and drinking martinelli. no one was awake. no one's awake. i looked out the window to stare at the "kum and go" gas station sign and look at fireworks fifty miles away. then i listened to "the new year" by death cab. and then i listend to songs by alanthebox.
i have gotten so fat on this trip. all we've done is eat. i've listened to stories, taken pictures, stared at peeling wallpaper, and listened to music. i haven't thought about school, i am numb about missing my friends. it's sort of a weird feeling, like i'm frozen in a time zone thirty years ago only the music isn't as bad. i forgot how indian my grandpa is, it's strange. he is so amazing at telling stories, i'm afraid that he will die and i'll never be able to share that memory with anyone else. so many different things have been said i wish i could've written them all down.
i have decided that i am unidentifiable between my friends and family. my friends have no idea what i'm like with my family or even what my extended family is like. i'm starting to doubt if they really know me at all. i'm just opposites and insides outs and whosits and i have no idea. who even came up with the idea of a self-identity? i think it's stupid.
i realized on this trip that most gay people say "that's gay" because that phrase actually, i found out from one, reverts back to the thirties and became a popular way of saying that something is stupid. it's not even slightly referring to the culture or sub-genre. it's like me saying, "isn't that queer?" i'm not referring to the gay population, i'm referring to something as strange or odd. before you know it, saying "that's queer!" will become an insult. i'm so sick of being overly politically correct. i'm alright with people calling me cracker!!!
i miss the days of waking up and not caring, i'm afraid they're gone forever.
when school starts again, hell starts with it. i'm not nearly rested enough to start either.
i'll be seeing you.
i'm in missouri and it is roughly 1230 of the new year. this trip was pretty fun, i was supposed to be in dallas for the new year but i guess i didn't make it. it was actually the most depressing new year i've ever had. i sat in the corner (dark because my sisters are sleeping) playing jewel and drinking martinelli. no one was awake. no one's awake. i looked out the window to stare at the "kum and go" gas station sign and look at fireworks fifty miles away. then i listened to "the new year" by death cab. and then i listend to songs by alanthebox.
i have gotten so fat on this trip. all we've done is eat. i've listened to stories, taken pictures, stared at peeling wallpaper, and listened to music. i haven't thought about school, i am numb about missing my friends. it's sort of a weird feeling, like i'm frozen in a time zone thirty years ago only the music isn't as bad. i forgot how indian my grandpa is, it's strange. he is so amazing at telling stories, i'm afraid that he will die and i'll never be able to share that memory with anyone else. so many different things have been said i wish i could've written them all down.
i have decided that i am unidentifiable between my friends and family. my friends have no idea what i'm like with my family or even what my extended family is like. i'm starting to doubt if they really know me at all. i'm just opposites and insides outs and whosits and i have no idea. who even came up with the idea of a self-identity? i think it's stupid.
i realized on this trip that most gay people say "that's gay" because that phrase actually, i found out from one, reverts back to the thirties and became a popular way of saying that something is stupid. it's not even slightly referring to the culture or sub-genre. it's like me saying, "isn't that queer?" i'm not referring to the gay population, i'm referring to something as strange or odd. before you know it, saying "that's queer!" will become an insult. i'm so sick of being overly politically correct. i'm alright with people calling me cracker!!!
i miss the days of waking up and not caring, i'm afraid they're gone forever.
when school starts again, hell starts with it. i'm not nearly rested enough to start either.
i'll be seeing you.