Now i'm just doing this out of pure bordness. i don't know the address for where we will be staying this summer, and i need to figure that out soon, before everyone disappears and i don't have time to tell everyone it. the address. ok so it's late, shut up. after leaving carolines house, the day totally sucked. i got stuck in traffic cause it literally rained buckets, and i was late getting home, so mom was in a bad mood with just me, so she said that i was grounded kind of, for being kind of late, even though it wasn't my fault. then, all through the night she kept on making references about how great margaret is and how hard she worked today, and how i only did a measly 45 minutes of ironing. and just when i thought it was all through, my dad piped in while i was busy making my peanut butter and jelly sandwich right before going to my room, and he said such mean things about how this was "my cake" that my mom had spent all day working on, and how i should've help make it, so he ended up really offending me cause i worked all day yesterday (but does that matter? no) so i went up stairs while he was yelling at me and that was at like 930, so then i sat down and moped around and then i read some more chapters out of jane eyre. then, i cross stitched a little, and then read some more, and then looked up some motivating quotes to try and make myself happy. i'm depressed for mary, and that is a weird situation. like, i'm so sad that she has to leave college, cause i know she really enjoyed it.
so then later on tonight i wrote some more of the book that i'm writing, and then, i came here. and that is where i am now. and there is a moth in my room and i don't want to go to bed in fear that i will swallow it in my sleep or something but i can't find it but i know it's in here and it's one of those pantry moths that i seriously detest and i just want it dead but i can't see it and now i'm angry especially cause i couldn't go running today and i'm sick of my whole family yelling at me and sometimes i just wish that i could curl myself into a little ball and wrap myself up in my bed sheets and close my eyes tight and never wake up because i just want to sleep and dream about water lilies and flowers and fields and sunlight, and i just want to dream about flying over the highest cloud or diving into the deepest ocean, now is there really a problem with that? it's not suicidal or anything, i just want to be left alone by my family. i want to dream that i am something other than the plan. boring. julia. i am. now.