school started. my surgery is over but i still have to get the caps put on, which will happen in about a month or two. we went on our senior retreat which was fun, while it lasted. before i got paranoid and lonely and weird and stuff. we're going to rome for christmas, the decision is final now? i think? i'm not sure still. my mom called while we were on the retreat and said that the deciding factor was for me, and i hate making decisions, so i was complaining about having to make the decision, but all of my friends were there and i feel like they all looked at me like i was complaining. but i wasn't complaining about "having" to go to italy or "having" to go to switzerland, both places are amazing adventures and opportunities, it's just i hate it when i'm the deciding factor, especially when it's my last christmas living at home. anyway, they shunned me for the rest of the day, which made me sad. i'm not stuck up.
i wish i could remember everything i have to do. all the forms to send in and the packages to send overseas, the tests to take and when to prep for them, the essays i have to write and when they are due, all of the tests i have coming up and what they're over and just. everything. i'm working my butt off, i really am. 530-1200 those are my hours. and it sucks too. waking up that early, going to seminary, doing homework, going to classes, doing more homework, going to fencing, coming home, going to dinner, and then starting homework.
sigh. my voice was carpeted in the clamor of falling dirt. but my baby girl, you became pretty good looking.


i miss so so so many things.