M-O-D

Alright, so i decided that the blog needed an update, so there you are.

So cut my wrists and black my eyes.
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.
Because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.

Spare me just three last words.
"I love you" is all she heard.
I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever.

So an update is due i suppose. we went to missouri, it was nostalgic, it was an adventure, it was fun. i think i had more fun on the road trip than anyone else. probably because i was the one bothering everyone else and not vice versa.
i'm leaving for oxford in one month. i'm tired of telling people this and feeling like they are judging me like the total brat that i am, so i'll just get my excitement out here. i forgot how to spell. so... from tuesday to thursday i was gone on a pioneer trek for church. i was positive that it would be a pretty lame experience. and aside from the leeches and the horrifying discovery of ticks on my way upper thighs (yeah, it was gnarly) it wasn't lame at all. i met some great people, including my new bestest mormon friend ever... todd. i probably like him so much because he was sweet but stern at the same time... and had such faith and such a strong testimony of the church i couldn't believe it. i told him all of my problems in the past... what emo means. he didn't like it very much, but accepted it. i got stuck in a group with three "mentally challenged" (since i don't know what to call it now without offending anyone) people. they taught me a lot of patience and i don't think there is anyone else filled with more love. the experience was all together amazing. i got to see some hotboooods on some boys there when we went swimming... and i got a letter from my parents on the last day. i won't say a lot about what they said, it just made me realize that i don't want to spend too much time away from home. my parents are the people that love me the most in the world... so why am i avoiding them so much? my mom talked a lot about how loving i was as a kid and how i let her love me and protect me and how i won't know. how being a teenager has been really hard for me. so, other than neale-a-palooza, which i believe i am attending tonight, i won't be leaving too much this week. probably once or twice a week.

everybody's going to the p a r t y to have arealgoodtime

anyway, it was mostly an amazing experience. helped me pinpoint my faults... what i need to work on... how much more i need to focus on my faith because my life kind of revolves around it.

today at 1240 my mom and i are going to see sisterhood of the traveling pants (sorry to all my bisches. but like. i gotsta)


There's blood in my mouth 'cause I've been biting my tongue all week
I keep on talkin' trash but I never say anything
And it's bad news
Baby I'm bad news
I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news


so now i go. i hope that you iiinjoooiii the new photos and updates. i'm sure there will be more to come. after all... it's summer