ok so i'm sitting at dinner today and i tell my mom, "hey mom, i need to schedule a dentist appointment really soon because i need to get that done before my orthodontist appointment." she tells me that we no longer have health insurance or something, and i need to cancel all my appointments until my dad gets a firm job.
oh and no more adderall. it costs like one hundred to two hundred dollars without insurance. meaning i don't know HOW on EARTH i'm going to survive until my dad gets this job.
it has gotten to the point where i just really really don't want to leave my room. i want there to be a freezer/fridge in here and a microwave and a pantry full of food and really i don't want to leave. ever. i'd also need a dvd player and dvd's and a t.v. and a break every few days. but i just don't want to leave. the only reason i would want to is to see my friends and go to fencing because at fencing i sit and talk to andrew and we talk about how screwed up our lives are and were and what our problems are and why we're weird. and he makes me so happy. at fencing. but then i have to think about so much on the way home that by the time i get here and once i face my family, i'm all depressed again. i think about how i'm going to get gas money, how i'll afford to go places, how i'll save up money, what kind of grades i'll get this year, how i'll get into college, if i'll be good enough, etc. lot's and lot's of things. i won't get into it though.
i'm tired and i don't want to do math homework or english homework.
i realized that i love talking to boys. i probably talk more than i should, but their outlook and views are so different that i love talking with them. it's a totally new experience for me.
i walked across an empty land
i knew the pathway like the back of my hand
i felt the earth beneath my feet
sat by the river and did make me complete
oh simple thing
where have you gone
i'm getting old and i need something to rely on
so tell when
you're gonna let me in
i'm get tired and i need somewhere to begin.
1 comment:
I'm sorry about the health insurance stuff. At least it happened after you got your braces taken off. That would have been bad if they took them off like a year before your teeth were done. Yeah, boys are fun. I like them.
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