anyway, so umm i'm sixteen now. i definately feel older this time. i don't know. i've been fighting with my parents a LOT lately (driving, my face, etc.) mostly about DRIVING. my mom is having a hard time letting go. anyway, it's just very frustrating for me since i've waited a long time. i'm also angry because my face has recently begun looking like a pizza. and i'm scared. like i look in the mirror and i shriek in horror. i mean, i don't know, i haven't had a proper face wash for some time now, so my face has completely broken out. i look terrible. and i've gained some more weight too (no more!) so i'm feeling very self conscience lately. it didn't help that i was microwaving something and my dad goes (no joke), "oh my gosh what's the matter with your face?" i just glared at him, and he's like, "no seriously what is it? it's all red and stuff..." i just walked away. no tact at all. i mean, when your talking to a self conscience teenage girl who is already upset and stressed, is that the best way to confront them and make them feel better? i think not.
we went to go see mary kate and ashley's new flick, "NEW YORK MINUTE." i don't know how it got one and a half stars while van helsing got two. not fair. i thought the ending was way cute. mary said the girl from mean girls reminded her of me. i'm scared about what ways she is comparing us.
tomorrow i have a party at my friend Becca's house. very jewish. very cool. i'm excited, but i don't know if i can go yet, seeing as my mom hasn't given me permission yet. i have a lot due soon. so much homework for the next few weeks. i'm just looking forward to the summer, where i can feel the sun beat down on my back, and i won't have to wake up at 530 anymore, and when i can write or jog or whatever. i'm just excited to have a little freedom i guess. this is the last summer when mary will be intact with the family, so i don't really want to spend it watching T.V. i'm thinking about doing something worthwhile.
i wish i could take the fencing programme at hockaday over the summer, but we'll be gone on the dates. so i'm hoping that when i come back i can take some swing lessons with anto and some boy. where i will find this boy i don't know. maybe i'll make guy friends this summer. probably not.
i need sleep. i need a break. i need a boyfriend.
enough ranting. i need TOM FELTON THAT'S WHO.