I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M MOTHER EFFING 18 YEARS OLD.
i haven't decided if i feel different or not. hum.
April 22, 2006
April 08, 2006
i'm so confused.
i'll be 18 in a couple of weeks, and i feel like i'm just starting to rebuild my life. it's so complicated, i don't really know where to start. all of my friends are dating, which is awesome for them and i'm so glad that they are happy, but it's awkward and lonely for me.
i talked to my mom/argued with her tonight about how ungiving i am and about how negative she is towards me and i feel like she didn't take in anything i said. i also keep on getting depressed, even though i shouldn't.
i'm also becoming completely irrational. watching sad romantic movies alone. taking a lot of pictures.
college is so scary for me. i dread the application process and getting rejected-- my dad hasn't helped at all. my transcript is not too much to boast about, i wish colleges had a way of knowing me for what i am-- how other students apply for glory and i apply in true interest of their programs. like, when i say i want to go here because i want to learn more about the topic and i find it interesting, i mean it. whereas so many others just want to get in to make their parents happy.
i wish i were better at saying thank you. i'm horrible at showing thanks. i haven't always been like this. pigeon-toed and cold.
i'll be 18 in a couple of weeks, and i feel like i'm just starting to rebuild my life. it's so complicated, i don't really know where to start. all of my friends are dating, which is awesome for them and i'm so glad that they are happy, but it's awkward and lonely for me.
i talked to my mom/argued with her tonight about how ungiving i am and about how negative she is towards me and i feel like she didn't take in anything i said. i also keep on getting depressed, even though i shouldn't.
i'm also becoming completely irrational. watching sad romantic movies alone. taking a lot of pictures.
college is so scary for me. i dread the application process and getting rejected-- my dad hasn't helped at all. my transcript is not too much to boast about, i wish colleges had a way of knowing me for what i am-- how other students apply for glory and i apply in true interest of their programs. like, when i say i want to go here because i want to learn more about the topic and i find it interesting, i mean it. whereas so many others just want to get in to make their parents happy.
i wish i were better at saying thank you. i'm horrible at showing thanks. i haven't always been like this. pigeon-toed and cold.